Learning How to Die

Why do you believe it to be true?

2008-06-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

"Although I try to fend off dicussions like this, Cameron's response made me curious. You seem intelligent enough, so I ask you WHY you believe it to be true.

WHY, without any real, convincing evidence to support that Jesus was not just another human, do you accept that Christ is your personal savior?

WHY, without regard to the rules of logic, do you come to the conclusion that God probably exsists?

Don't get me wrong, I fully respect the belief you presented because it gives everyone the opportunity to be "saved" regardless of what their parents taught them was right, but I still can't grasp why you feel the need to invent (I do not want to use that word but I can't think of a better one) such a tale to explain something that could just be left unknown."

This quote was directed at me just a couple of weeks ago. I had decided to weigh in on an acquaintance's online discussion about the role of "religious practices" in Christianity, and my comments prompted an individual to ask me the above question.

Its a tough question.

This instance was, honestly, one of only three or four times in my entire life when I had been asked, point-blank, the reason why I believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God by someone not sharing my belief. And the last time was probably over 3 years ago.

I was glad that he asked me. I looked forward to actually having to compile my rationale into something of a point-by-point account of my though process. My response, as poorly-written as it was, works decently as a quick summary of why I believe what I believe. Here is a slightly tweaked version of it:

"What has convinced me of the truth of the Gospel (and I use the word "convinced" cautiously, because of course there are many, many times when I doubt, I question, and have to rely on the good ole' Christian fall-back faith... actually, I have to rely on it at all times), you might find completely unconvincing. Personally, the person of Jesus Christ and his message is the most beautiful and worthwhile thing I have ever heard. I think that it truly presents the most beautiful way to live. I think that the sort of descent of humanity presented in the Bible makes perfect sense and goes a long way to explain why there is evil in the world, why there is good in the world, and why we can tell the two apart. It validates good art and gives it worth, it gives value to human life, it assures that "love" is real and is important, it is able to speak to things that science has no way of approaching (all of this is simply my opinion, of course).

Obviously, there have been countless books written about the scientific evidence for and against specific claims in the bible written by men much smarter and more informed than me. There have been countless books supporting and refuting the existence of Christ from a purely historical standpoint, and then books about his resurrection. I don't really want to get into a debate about this stuff (and am nowhere near qualified to do so). I'll just say that the "official" cultural verdict (if it even matters) is still out on pretty much all of that stuff regardless of what both certain Christians and their counterparts would like to say.

I guess the last thing I'll say is something that, really, will likely be of no value to you. You can think its crazy or a lie or whatever. But another reason why I believe these things is because I really do have a relationship with Jesus. I have encountered him in subtle, but unmistakable ways--felt his nudging in my heart, heard his soft voice, witnessed some small-scale miracles, and have been changed. The days that I spend seeking him through prayer and scripture, I really do believe, make me a more humble, compassionate, and loving person--not that I'm not still just terrible now, but he is definitely doing a work in me. I am different than I was 5 years ago. I am different than I was 1 year ago. These are the things I lean on when I doubt or when I don't feel him. He has given me these wonderful experiences to look back to in times of insecurity."

Rough read, right? I think the main point I was trying to make is that it isn't scientific or historical "proof" that has convinced me of the truth of the Gospel--it is Jesus Christ, his character, and the work he has done in me and through me that gives me confidence. That other stuff might be what others cling to, but for me the beauty of the Son of God himself is where I find my assurance.

"Fight Night" Disappointment

2007-08-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

Last night the fifth boxing night that my friends and I put on happened. Let me give you a little background on the event. It all started a little over 2 years ago when my friends and I rented "Fight Night: Round 2" for ps2. We all created boxers in the game with our exact heights, weights, and appearances. For a couple of days we had tournaments with our digital representations before we asked ourselves, "Hey, why don't we just really box?" So we did.

A couple of my friends bought boxing gloves and head gear, everyone bought their own mouthpiece, and we had the first real-life "Fight Night" in a friend's back yard. Everyone came up with a "character" that they would play for the matches (similar to pro-wrestling, I guess). We filmed the event and I edited it into a 10-minute video, which we have done with every Fight Night since.

When it was my time to fight, I became Cameron "Captain Insanity" Heger. I wasn't very good. I fought my good friend Tyler "The Mystical Dragon" Ceola the first time and lost the decision.

A month or two later, we had the 2nd Fight Night, this time with several spectators present. "Captain Insanity" lost his 2nd bout to Ryan "Pilgrim Rest" Toomer. It was disappointing. At this point, I was the only one of my friends with 2 losses and 0 wins.

Fight Night round 3 happened a significant amount of time later (I dont' remember exactly when). Many of our friends came out to watch the boxing. I suffered my worst loss yet.

At this point, I knew I had to do something--I couldn't keep on losing all of my matches. And instead of doing something to improve my actual boxing skill, I relied on superstition and blamed my losses on my name ("Captain Insanity")--so I changed my name to Cameron "The Bad Minton" Heger. The funny thing is, I did actually win my fight at the next fight, which happened probably 6 months after Fight Night round 3, with probaby 15 spectators or so. "The Bad Minton" was officially undefeated.

We started planning the fifth Fight Night at the beginning of the summer. I had the idea to try to get into actual decent boxing shape. Before I had a match lined up, I started training every day for the 3 weeks leading up to the fight. Ellen hand-crafted custom boxing shorts for me. I borrowed an old bath robe from my dad. I was going to get a 2nd win.

So last night, it went down. I fought a friend I had known for a long time (going all the way back to elementary school). He had some size on me, but I figured I would be in better shape. Anyway, the bell rang and I came out much more aggressive and confident than I had ever been before. It was the first time I had ever really had much power behind my punches, and I wasn't tiring very fast at all. It seemed that I had won the first round by a pretty big margin. So I was ready for the next one. I came out for the 2nd round and Dylan was a little more aggressive, but it was pretty even for the first half of the match. I knew I would have more stamina the longer the fight went, so I wasn't worried.

Then, it happened. I dislocated my kneecap while trying to dodge a punch. I went down in a lot of pain. I knew I wouldn't be able to fight anymore. My spirits were crushed. I had lost the fight on account of "technical knockout." Its one thing to simply get out-boxed, but its another thing altogether to have something like this ruin the fight. And so The Minton had a record of 1 and 1.

I must say, I still had fun. It was a fun night of friendly competition (as it usually is), and there will be other matches for me. I'll just have to make sure that I bring my knee braces.
-Cameron

p.s. If you like pop, soul, or rock n' roll, do yourself the favor of buying the new Spoon album "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga." It is quite fantastic.

The fruits of labor...

2007-07-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I know it has been a long time since I last posted. I apologize. I would like to be able to say that I'm going to start blogging much more frequently now that the summer is in full swing, but I feel like I've said that in pretty much all of my last few blog posts, so I'll leave that little clause out for now. I may or may not start posting more frequently.

Anyways, I just got back from a camp called Ravencrest just outside of Estes Park, Colorado yesterday. It was my third time to go to Ravencrest, and it truly was an amazing experience, but I'll save that story for another post. This post is about something that has consumed much of my time, thought, and creative energy over the past year--my band, Christmas Fuller Project's first full-length album. It is called "The Philosophy of Time Travel" and it has been in the works for just about a year. Last Saturday, June 23, we finally released it for the world to hear. This is significant for a couple of reasons I feel are worth mentioning. One, as someone who criticizes music (although rarely on paper, and even more rarely with any real insight) all of the time, it is pretty exciting to actually create and put something out there for other people to react to. And I'm so proud of it, and I think there other guys in the band are, too. The second reason is that we as a band (with a new 5th member, no less) can now finally move on and start working on new material, which is exciting. Here's the cover art for the album. Aaron Hopwood and I designed it and Nick Roland digitally put it together.

After pouring so much into it, it feels really nice to just sit back and let go of it. It is finished, done, and there is no more tweaking left to do. Now we just have the privilege of hearing the thoughts of whomever will bless us with actually listening to it. And, for any curious people out there, shortly you will be able to buy the CD on CDBaby.com and iTunes. The easiest way, of course, is to just buy one at a show ($10).

But while the album itself is finished, it isn't quite done with us just yet. I got the idea to create a music video for one of its songs recently, and we shot that video just over a week ago. Its a simple performance video (and I knew it would have to be to retain a shred of dignity given our limited video resources), but we had a whole lot of fun making it. It is my official music video directorial debut. Here it is, for those of you interested:

Like I said, its nothing fancy, but we sure did have fun making it. I am considering doing another video or two for songs from the album, maybe doing one without anyone in the band in it this summer (as me, George, and Tyler are the only ones in the U.S. right now). If anyone has a cool and practical idea for a new CFP music video, or if you would be interested in helping me develop a concept for one, shoot it, lend resources, or whatever, let me know. I would love your help.

Well, I guess thats all for now. I hope you are blessed and growing. Take care.
-Cameron

Local Music Review - Famous In May / "Squares"

2007-03-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

I had the idea a few months ago to start a frequent (and by frequent, I really mean extremely infrequent) series of posts reviewing music from local Northwest Arkansas artists. It seemed like a fun and interesting thing to do, and, if nothing else, it may give all 2 of my occasional readers a heads up about bands they may have otherwise not heard of in the NWA area. Now, I'm no legitimate music critic--I don't claim to know an incredible amount about music and I claim to know even less about writing (and exponentially less about writing about music), but, nonetheless, here we find ourselves. So, without further ado, here is my first edition of the "Local Music Review."

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Famous In May / "Squares"

I should start off by saying that I am good friends with several members of Famous In May and friends with the other ones. Also, I should probably mention that they are responsible for getting my band well over half of the shows we have played. Despite these facts, this review will not be a friend patting his friends on the back simply for the sake of doing so. I went into listening to this EP with the mentality that I wasn't going to cut them any slack--mostly because I knew they would prefer an honest review rather than some hollow compliments. However (and not necessarily to my surprise), no slack was needed.

After several months of holding out for my copy of FiM's "Squares" EP with the pretty art on the disk, I finally got my copy a few weeks ago. Clocking in at just over 30 minutes, its a pretty quick listen.

I was familiar with all of the songs on the disc before I listened to it and am happy to report that the vast majority of them retain all of their live glory and, in most cases, improve upon it. "Squares" bounces back and forth between a couple of styles, from the tense build of opener "Twist It," to the more groove-based "Lights Ahead" to the acoustic near-balladry of "Will You Be My Friend." Generally, the songs all stick to an ever-so-slightly dark, laid-back pop sound with a tinge of folk. It is reminiscent of the last "Travis" album. Crowd favorite "Defending On My Own" seems to be the only track that loses a little bit of "umph" in its transition to the studio. However, the recorded version is still a whole lot of fun.

The songwriting is solid. Famous In May does a great job of musically complementing the songs and reinforcing themes while never threatening to take over or distract--exactly what a songwriter typically wants out of his band.

The standout track, in my humble opinion, is the longest cut on the EP, "This Is Standard." Heartbreaking lyrics that seem to outline the human condition very simply and effectively anchor a song full of interesting music--most notably the foundational swirling keyboard part and the evocative bass line.

I completely recommend this CD to anyone who is looking for some hope for the Fayetteville music scene. Amidst a sea of bar-bands and screamo sound-alikes, Famous In May bring something unique. Buy it at their shows for $7. Keep up with them at www.myspace.com/Famousinmay.

Grace and Humility (or, more appropriately, 'Why Can't We All Just Get Along?')

2007-03-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Most of the time, I do not live out these things. This post is a prayer for myself, as well as for the rest of the Church.

I hope I live to see the day when the majority of the body of Christ treat others as we have undoubtedly been treated. It breaks my heart every time I see Christians arguing and fighting with both each other and unbelieving people over things that should be discussed. They are usually important issues, certainly, but it seems that most people tend to assert authority they simply don't have when these things come up. We serve a God that is infinitely big, complex, and mysterious. He has given us many absolute, definitive statements about who he is and how we are to live in response to him. He has also given us many cryptic, debatable statements about himself. I believe there are "correct" interpretations of these things, but I think it is very easy for us to err in figuring them out. And we, most likely, won't find out for sure until heaven. It is hard to find two individuals who share exactly the same views on all theological issues--let alone the same interpretation on what the appropriate response is relationally, socially, politically, etc. to said views. And that is OK! We can all afford to get a few details wrong in this life.

We certainly have to keep striving to find the "correct" theology and responses to said theology--and this is a life-long process of prayer and petition to God. But, I doubt anyone will have all of this until well into eternity. So, lets live this way! Lets live as if we don't have all of the answers. We don't. Lets keep the conversation open about what a Christian should look like in America roughly two thousand and seven years after Christ's death, because when it is all said and done, we could very well be lovingly told we were wrong in many, many ways when we are face to face with our creator. And as long as we loved him and kept striving for him, he's not going to hold that against us. We can all afford to get a few details wrong in this life.

I think that when we get to heaven, a lot of liberals are going be surprised to find that all conservatives weren't a bunch of money-hoarding, close-minded, ignorant, hypocritical bible-thumpers. And a lot of conservatives may be surprised to find out that all liberals weren't a bunch of world-pleasing, afraid-to-take-a-stand, trend-conscious, truth-ignoring tree huggers. We may very well be surprised that the other group was right about more things that we thought. We may very well be surprised that we both missed the mark horribly (that's what I'm betting on). What we will find is that, as hard as it may be to believe for some, those "other" people sincerely loved Christ, and were trying their hardest to build their lives around his call. And we will worship him forever along side them.

Please, for the love of God the Father, can we please show each other grace and humility?

-Cameron

The Philosophy of Time Travel

2007-02-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I posted this last night on CFP's MySpace blog, but thought it also applied to my personal blog since it describes what I've been doing for the past 8 months. Anyways, here it is: a description of my band's first full length album:

After building insurmountable amounts of intrigue, here, on this most auspicious of occasions, we reveal the shape of things to come--the sketchings of an opus. We've whet your imaginations and challenged your notions of time and space. Well, time, not space. It is now, however, on this very hour, nay, this very minute, that we reveal, in full, what we have been crafting ever so delicately over the past 8 months.

I would like to apologize for that above paragraph. It was ridiculous.

In all seriousness, we are ready to reveal exactly what has come from our many hours spent writing, practicing, and recording music. And that, my friends, is a new full-length album.

It's called "The Philosophy of Time Travel" and although we have not yet designed the album art and are still yet to record 2 remaining songs, we are already very proud of it. It has been a difficult time- and thought-consuming process, but it has been worth it.

So how did this come about? Well, the project initially started as an EP to follow up our Milkhouse EP. It was originally conceived to be another 4 or 5 songs that we could quickly record and release to try to make a little bit of money at shows. But, as we finished the first few tracks (Ghosts Are for Graveyards and The Part That Lives, in particular), we realized that, with more recording experience, we were getting much higher quality sounds that we had in the past using the same equipment. Band members started bringing new songs to the table that were, in our humble opinions, quite good and we had an interest in recording more than just the original 5 or so. As we started analyzing the songs, we realized several themes running throughout nearly all of them.

We discovered that these themes could be tied together using the idea of "Time Travel" as a reference point. Thus, "The Philosophy of Time Travel" was born. Several tracks were written after the overall album theme was decided, which serve to make the time travel idea considerably more obvious. Among these are the three parts of a "musical trilogy" (to quote Spinal Tap) about the 19th century swimmer Captain Matthew Webb and a time traveler. The track list is as follows:

1. Captain Webb vs. The English Channel
2. Try
3. Ghosts Are for Graveyards
4. The Part That Lives
5. Learn How to Die (Country Step)
6. A Long Drive
7. Prelude
8. 1875
9. Meet Me in Montauk
10. I Choose to Love You Anyway
11. Optimistic
12. Pop Philosophy

What we've ended up with is an album about the strange place we (the members of CFP and many others) find ourselves in: we are looking to something from a relatively long time ago to dictate what we do today, yet must constantly acknowledge and live with the reality that we are incapable of living up to this standard until some point in the future (read: our deaths). Time Travel is a metaphor for hope, regret, longing, reminiscing, learning from mistakes, and any other experience that finite beings inevitably face as they try to figure out their place in eternity.

It's just a CD--one that will hopefully be in your hands by April. But it's got our (figurative) blood, sweat, and tears all over it. We hope you enjoy it. We can't wait for you to hear it.
-Cameron

Favorites of 2006, or, Me Trying Desperately to Legitimize Myself

2007-01-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

Something I always look forward to at the end of a given year is sitting down and discussing with my friends what we all think are the best movies, albums, etc. of said year. And, with my introduction to this wonderful little tool we call the "blog," I have had, for the last 2 years, the ability to actually publish a list of these things for the world to see.

However, a question came up in my mind recently--why do I do this? Why do I feel the need to order these things into a definitive list--why can't I just allow each of them to affect me and leave it at that? And, moreover, how much arrogance do I have to have in order to think that my opinions are worth posting on the internet let alone reading? It seems to me that there is a level of self-importance (how much, I'm not sure) that must exist in a person before he/she deems it neccessary to write a blog. Even worse with this type of blog--one that attempts to tell other people which pieces of art are better. Is this whole thing just an attempt to make myself look smart or cultured or artistic, etc.? Is this whole thing just an attempt to give myself the appearance of being more literate than the next guy? I think so.

Now, realizing this, why am I still going to post these lists? Would this not make me the worst kind of pretentious blogger--the one who realizes his faults yet continues to dwell in them? Yeah, I guess it would. BUT, after thinking about this I realized another thing: I like to read other people's top 10 lists, mostly because they can inform me of films and albums that I may have otherwise never heard of. And the only times that I don't like to read them are when those people try to say that their list is definitive--as if their list represents anything more than just their own opinion. I think there is a key difference in saying 1) These are the 10 BEST films of the year, and 2) These are MY 10 FAVORITE films of the year. I never want to be the type of person who would try to state something like 1).

So, here they are, my favorite pieces of entertainment from the year 2006. Not the best, just my favorite. If you know me and are moved by similar things and have not seen/heard/played any of these--then this list is my recommendation if you are interested. I hope you had a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and are filled with a joy that never leaves you.

Movies

1. Children of Men (Alfonso Cuaron)
2. Little Miss Sunshine (Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris)
3. The Fountain (Darren Aronofsky)
4. The Prestige (Christopher Nolan)
5. Stranger Than Fiction (Marc Forster)
6. Superman Returns (Brian Singer)
7. V for Vendetta (James McTeigue)

Music

1. Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
2. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
3. Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
4. Camera Obscura - Lets Get Out of this Country
5. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
6. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
7. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
8. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
9. Islands - Return to the Sea
10. Cat Power - The Greatest

Games

1. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Nintendo)
2. Shadow of the Colossus (Sony) (2005, but oh well--I discovered it in '06)
3. NCAA Football 2007 (EA)
4. Wii Sports (Nintendo)
5. Call of Duty 3 (Activision)

TV

1. Arrested Development Season 3
2. The Office Season 3
3. Austin City Limits
...I don't think I watched anything else on TV, but those were all very good

Cameron

*EDIT* 1/5/07 - I just saw Children of Men (which originally opened in December 2006 but just saw a wide release) and it blew me away. I haven't had much time to process it, but my gut reaction is that it was the best movie I saw in '06. Fantastic.

Is there a word for "unintentional lies?"

2006-12-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

There should be.

Anyways, here I am, months after my last post in which I promised (well, maybe I didn't promise, but I certainly did suggest) that I would start blogging more. I didn't. Thus, it was an unintentional lie.

I'm pretty much just here to say that I, once again, want to start blogging again. I miss the feeling. Blogging forces me to organize all of the thoughts and feelings that swirl around in my head and in my chest--and I'm finding that if I don't organize them, I end up feeling grumpy... and then confused about why I feel grumpy. Sometimes I think I might just need to define how or what I'm feeling in order to feel healthy.

But, now is not the time. Finals start Thursday (and any prayer would be appreciated in regards to this), and continue through Saturday. Tomorrow night I begin the uncomfortable process of trying to learn all of my required material. This means, obviously, no blogging for me until after that.

After that, I will blog once more.

Cameron

p.s. Please don't think of me as a liar
p.p.s. I could probably just use a thesaurus or a dictionary

A quick "Hello" and a name change

2006-08-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hello.

I just thought I would post today, as I have nothing to do at the moment and haven't touched this blog in several months. I kind of missed it, and I've gotta be honest--it feels good to be back, even if it has only been for 45 seconds at this point. I don't really have anything earth-shatting to say (but, then again, when do I ever?)... I mostly just wanted to (A.) Get a new post so that an advertisement for a 3-month old show isn't the first thing someone sees shold they stumble upon this page and (2.) Mention that I plan to start blogging regularly again. This is not because I think my thoughts are worth anyone taking the time to read, but because it was always a great way to process my thoughts and nail down exactly what was swirling around in my chest. Getting outside input was always great, too (because I can be very, very wrong sometimes and it is important to get slapped back into reality every now and then). So, anyways, hopefully this is the beginning of a new, long chapter in the life of this blog. Adios.

P.S. I decided to change the name of the blog from "They Call Me Heger" to "Learning How to Die." I thought that "They Call Me Heger" sounded a little self-important. "Learning How to Die" comes from a Wilco song titled "War on War." I think it is a concept that is, in a sense, a summation of the rest of my life. Every day for the rest of my life I'm told I have to die to myself and put on Christ if I want to really live. I'm learning how to do that.

You have to lose
You have to lose
You have to learn how to die
If you want to want to be alive
You have to die
You have to die
You have to learn how to die
If you want to want to be alive

--Heger

CFP Saturday, May 13

2006-05-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

For one night only, the U of A's own Christmas Fuller Project is co-headlining with Famous In May. The show begins at 8:00pm at the Music Hall in Fayetteville (off College Avenue, right behind Hunan Manor). The cost is $8. There's a strong to quite strong chance that it will be a fun time, so please feel free to come on out and listen to your friends play some music. Siloam Springs' Welling Skydive will also be playing.

CFP is...
...Brandon George (vocals, guitar)
...Cameron Heger (drums, percussion)
...Aaron Hopwood (bass, vocals)
...Nick Roland (guitar, keys, vocals)

www.myspace.com/christmasfullerproject

Jesus, don't cry.

2006-03-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

If I can share with you for a moment how much of a nerd I truly am, I would like to let you know something about me. Something a little embarassing. I (and Nick Roland was the first person to realize it) have a tendency sometimes to imagine myself in a movie scene at random times throughout the day. It usually only happens when I have music on (whether in my car or in my headphones makes no difference), mostly around sundown or when it is raining. You know, the moments when the mood is thick. What mood that is, I don't know. Anyway, I will suddenly forget that I'm a regular person doing a common, every day task, and suddenly I am in the middle of a magnificently-crafted feature with the perfect soundtrack to match the visuals. I know, I'm an idot.

All of that to say that I had one such moment today. I turned in a paper to my Anthropology teacher's mailbox, and walked out of Old Main. I stood there, took out my iPod, turned to my favorite album by one of my favorite bands (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco), and began to walk. My plan was to walk to the bus station near the Student Union and catch a ride down to Pomfret, so I set my iPod to the song "War On War" and picked up my pace.

Then, for the first time, God arranged one of the above-stated moments. The song ended in 3 minutes 49 seconds, and then, expectedly, went to the next song on the album, which happens to be one of the best songs Wilco has ever written, "Jesus, Etc." The smooth guitar and keyboard started and, alas, a "movie moment" was triggered. The scene was mournful, although not completely depressing--much like the song. 20 seconds into the song, Jeff Tweedy's words kicked in, opening the song with the line "Jesus, don't cry." 3 words that speak thousands (although probably not, to me, in the way Mr. Tweedy intended). At this exact moment, I turned the corner of Mullins Library and saw something that always hits me right deep in the left side of my chest: a campus street-evangelist. "Jesus, don't cry," I repeated. Only in a movie... only in a movie.

My heart ached at the thought, for surely this one was going to be just like all of the rest I had seen--loud, obnoxious, confrontational, judgemental, self-righteous, etc. I turned my iPod off, and decided to take a seat by the lawn where he was "preaching."

Sure enough, he was everything I expected and more. "Jesus, don't cry," I prayed.

I don't remember any of the exact arguments he was trying to push, but I remember all of his applications of them being nearly 100% wrong, based on my (admittedly poor) understanding of the person of Jesus. It broke my heart. It usually does. I should have known better than to stay and listen, because I always end up with an unbelievable amount of personal guilt and responsibility for what the person says. Although, maybe that's a good thing?

There is a reason why Christianity has been pushed to the margins of our culture. And I don't mean popular culture, because Jesus never had a chance of reigning there in this world. I mean to say that Christianity has been largely rejected as a legitimate lifestyle/worldview by our society in general. And most of it is because of people like 'Moses,' as people call the genteleman I saw today. When robbed of its authenticity and used as nothing more than a way to assert one's superiority over another, Christianity has no purpose in this world other than to, excuse my French, piss off all of those who don't fall under its banner.

I must admit, the effect that "Moses" had on everyone in the crowd was quite disgusting. It caused everyone to begin to throw out hatred like confetti, yelling equally horrible things back at him. And one of the scarriest parts of it was the fact that a few Christian guys I was standing by got caught up in all of the hatred, as well. They started saying things like "someone needs to just go up there and punch him in the mouth," "he needs to die," etc., etc., etc. Even in myself (not surprisingly), I could feel the smallest bit of self-righteousness brewing. Luckily, I noticed what was going on in my heart and in the hearts of those around me before I let it get out of hand, but I was still shocked at myself. Here I am, furious, hurt, saddened, and disgusted with things I am hearing, and then I turn around and nearly let do the exact same thing to "Moses."

I guess I'm just deeply saddened, more than anything else, by the fact that this is what Jesus looks like to so many people out there. If this is who Jesus is, then all of the cynics and skeptics are right--we don't need him. But, luckily, the Jesus that I know and love isn't anything like that Jesus. He is so many things and he isn't so many things, and I don't know where to begin listing so I won't, but he is absolutely beautiful in every way and the people need to know him. They need to know the real him.

I think that that is the problem. Jesus hasn't become marginalized in society, but imposters have. If we were actively showing (not telling, showing) the world Jesus day in and day out, I really believe that multitudes would be changed. His lifestyle is too revolutionary, too simple, even too progressive (who'da thunk it?) to be dismissed. (Note: This is not to say that I don't feel that proclaiming the name of Jesus is important, it most certainly is. But I would argue that showing him is much, much more impactful than nearly any word that can be spoken--to the cold-hearted, especially)

Jesus has recently, in the last year or so, smashed much of my old "American Christian" worldview to pieces and built something back up that is much more beautiful than I could have imagined before. He's smashed my old thoughts of who he is and what he did. He's smashed my idea of who I am. And he's still doing it (because I am stupid and I am stubborn), smashing and rebuilding things every day, keeping the elements that are good and throwing away the ones that aren't. And sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it makes you feel stupid, and sometimes it confuses you, and sometimes its the most wonderful feeling in the world. But, it is happening, both during the times I like it and the times I don't. Its an odd thing to go through, as most of you probably know, but I want everyone to experience it.

I know I'm kind of jumping around a lot now, and, I'll be honest, I have no intention (and probably not the creative ability) of tying everything up. I guess, if I can end this post with anything, the thing that best sums up my last 2 or 3 paragraphs, it would be these lyrics:

And I'm trying to make you sing
from inside where you believe,
like its something that you need,
like it means everything.

And I'm trying to make you feel
that this is for real,
that life is happening,
that it means everything.

I'm just trying to make you sing.

These are from the last song on David Crowder*Band's latest album, "A Collision." The song is called "The Lark Ascending (Or, Perhaps More Accurately, I Am Trying To Make You Sing)." Its probably one of the most uplifting and inspirational pieces of music I've ever heard (which simultaneously shows my disgusting lack of culture and my unrelenting love for Crowder). Its simply an honest plea to the listener to consider everything that the album had discussed before. Not just to think about it or even to intellecuatlly adhere to it, but to fully, in your heart of hearts, come to realize that this life is what its all about--that it means everything. The incarnation and the resurrection really happened. And it means everything.

It means everything.
--Heger

P.S. Oh and I just kind of feel like mentioning, since I haven't as of yet on this blog, that I currently have a girlfriend, and she is pretty much the most amazing girl I have ever met (besides my mom, but thats a given). Now, I might get in trouble for writing that, as it very well could embarass her, but thats just a chance I'm willing to take. Her name is Ellen, by the way.

A shameless plug...

2006-03-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

Well, its that time again, folks. Its time for Christmas Fuller Project to play another show.

Oh, you don't know who Christmas Fuller Project is? Well it is a band composed of none other than Brandon George (vocals/guitar), Cameron Heger (drums), Aaron Hopwood (bass/vocals), and Nick Roland (guitar/vocals/keys). They play music. Sometimes, good music. You should come give them a listen.

Here are the details:

We are the opening act for a local band showcase aptly titled "Spring Fling 2" this coming Friday night. It is at the Music Hall in Fayetteville. In case you don't know, its on College behind Hunan Manor. We go up at 7:15 (give or take a few minutes), so if you're planning on coming, you may want to get there around 7ish.

We only get to play for 25 minutes, I believe, so it won't take up too much of your precious Friday night. The door charge is $8. If we can draw a decent crowd, then we will get a chance to headline at the music hall in the next month or two, so while you're under no obligaton what-so-ever to come, we would really appreciate any and everyone who shows up.

The other bands playing are "Jarris", "Brighter Later", "Johnny Unite Us", "Six Hung Sprung", and "Stars Trapted in Ebony." They'll be playing all night.

We love you.

A Recap

2006-02-07T12:34:00.000-08:00

So our band (Christmas Fuller Project) just played its first show this past Friday night. I posted about it on the band's blog. Check it out here.

P.S. I really do plan to get back on some consistent blogging here pretty soon, so my apologies to anyone who might actually like to read this little thing, I'll be back soon.

Top albums of '05 and why I am an idiot

2006-01-04T16:34:00.000-08:00

Well, the year of 2005 officially ended 7 days ago, so I thought it would be appropriate for me to do a list of my favorite albums of the year. It was tough, but I think I narrowed it down to my 12 favorites... and I think I have a pretty good order. Oh, and by the way, I do not claim in any way to be any kind of music expert or critic. I siimply know what I like and what I don't. Oh well, here goes:

1. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois

In my opinion, Sufjan Stevens is one of the freshest voices in music today. With his signature densely layered folk/pop instrumentation mixed with his surprisingly straight-forward and honest lyrics, Illinois is easily his most accessible and catchy album to date (and, in my opinion, his best). If you haven't heard Sufjan Stevens, Illinois is a great place to start.

Highlight: "Casmir Pulaski Day"

2. The Decemberists - Picaresque

I discovered the Decemberists last Christmas when I got their first CD, Castaways and Cutouts, from my parents. Their latest album, Picaresque, finds main songwriter Colin Meloy at his best, matching his beautiful melodies with even more ridiculous yet heart-warming/wrenching fictional stories.

Highlight: "The Engine Driver"

3. Coldplay - X&Y

"The New U2's" third CD shows that while they haven't nececarily broken any new ground, they don't have to. Solid songwriting and instrumentation make the whole album great from start to finish. And while their core sound remains mostly unchanged, a shift to a more technological sound with more delayed guitars, synthesizers, loops, and all kinds of bells and whistles keeps things from getting stale.

Hightlight: "Fix You"

4. David Crowder*Band - A Collision

In my opinion, David Crowder is the most original voice in worship music today. "A Collision," essentially a concept album, is one of the most creative works in the genre that I have heard in a long, long time. Crowder, with this album, not only made worship music "cool," but he made it challenging and thought-provoking.

Highlight: "Rescue Is Coming"

5. Wilco - Kicking Television: Live in Chicago

Wilco is easily my 2nd favorite band in the world (behind Radiohead, of course), and their latest album, a 2-cd live album, showcases the band with pretty much their most cohesive and talented line-up yet. Hearing them play old songs from their 2nd album "Being There" with a newfound burst of energy is easily my favorite aspect of the album.

Highlight: "Misunderstood"

6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Simply fun, danceable music. While their lead singer's voice takes a little getting used to, you can't help but tap your foot to this stuff. Perhaps the most amazing thing about this album, however, is that it was recorded, mixed, produced, and distributed by the band themselves without any help from any record label of any kind. Impressive.

Highlight: "The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth"

7. Sigur Ros - Takk...

The Icelandic group that sounds like a half-man/half-elf/half awesome-creature-I-don't-even-know-about-yet, has put out simply a record containg a great, emotional ride (even though I can't understand the words at all). I haven't heard any of their other albums, so I can't compare Takk... to any of their past albums, but I do know that I like this one a whole lot. Ubben is going to see them live in February, and I am extremely jealous.

Highlight: "Hoppípolla"

8. Death Cab for Cutie - Plans

Death Cab's Ben Gibbard is a great songwriter, and his backing band is very good, as well. We have always known this. And while their new album is very good, it doesn't show us anything new about the band. I'm not complaining, though, because what we get is still a great collection of pop songs, some sad, some happy, that add up to one of the better albums of the year.

Hightlight: "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

9. Ben Folds - Songs for Silverman

This is the first Ben Folds CD I have heard, but it makes me want to check out his back catalog. His beautiful melodies and impressive piano playing mixed with his always clever lyrics make for a fun, if forgettable album. My favorite song on the album is probably his tribute to the late singer/songwriter Elliott Smith called "Late."

Highlight: "Late"

10. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary

Modest Mouse's Isaac Brock produced this album, which sounds quite a bit like an album Modest Mouse could have made. The thing is, I would take these guys over Modest Mouse any day of the week.

Highlight: "Shine A Light"

11. Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams

Jack Johnson... the guy will probably never make a "great" album, but he will most likely never make a bad one. He has been essentially playing the same song for 5 years, but it is a good one. His choppy strum patterns with his smooth vocals and surfer-dude mentality make "In Between Dreams," and every one of his albums for that matter, great stuff to put on in the background and swing in a hammock to.

Hightlight: "Better Together"

12. Spoon - Gimme Fiction

Somewhere, a long time ago, pretty pop music and elemental rock n' roll met and had a love child known as the band Spoon. They have always had a stripped down sound, using usually just a guitar, a piano, drums, and sometimes a bass--but with Gimme Fiction, the minimalist approach sounds more exciting than ever.

Highlight: "I Turn My Camera On"

---------------
Whew, that took a while.

I guess, in other news, I am an idiot. I'm an idiot because I have started too many books at one time. Before Christmas, I was in the mididle of both C.S. Lewis's "Surprised by Joy," and his Narnia book "Voyage of the Dawn Treader." For Christmas I got Donald Miller's "Through Painted Deserts" and St. Augustine's "Confessions." I immediately had to start the Miller book, as his first book, "Blue Like Jazz," I consider to be a key part of my spiritual formation. Then I was browsing through Barnes and Noble a few days after Christmas, and I decided I had to pick up Lewis's "Miracles," and "Reflections on the Psalms." I also bought a book called "Emerging Churches" by Eddie Gibbs and Ryan K. Bolger and thought it too interesting to wait to read. So here I am, with 4 books going in addition to daily scripture reading, and several more staring me in the face begging me to read them. I'm never going to finish any of these. I'm an idiot.

Adios.

It's Christmas time!

2005-12-15T21:00:00.000-08:00

So this first first semester of college just flew by. I mean, it really got out of hand fast. It literally feels like I just moved into the dorm a few weeks ago.

I started telling myself right before school started that whenever I finished my first semester I would post a huge blog about college and how it has affected me. But, to be honest, I really don't feel that different at all. Sure, class was a little bit harder than High School and finals were definately a pretty stressful period, but, other than that, everything was pretty standard.

I think it's great that I am still hanging out with my cell group guys and that I have met a bunch of new solid Christian friends. There are so many pitfalls that you hear about people falling into once they get into college and experience "life on their own," but with these guys and girls, its been just like the old days. I am truly thankful for these people and our friendships--God is, indeed, good. At the same time, while I have met quite a few new people, I feel a little bit like I could do a better job of branching out. Its easy to stay in your own little comfort zone when you have so many people that you're so close to around you all the time. Hopefully I'll figure out how to balance these things.

So, no, I don't have any Earth-shatteringly insightful observations after my first semester. It sure was fun, though--I'll tell you that. And I'm definately looking forward to the next couple of years. Maybe I'll get a huge revelation later... if I do, I'll keep you posted.

Moving on, Christmas time is here. Before I say anything else about it, I feel like I need to plug some music. Sufjan Stevens, one of my favorite singer/songwriters has a, as far as I can tell, completely legal and completely free collection of 3 Christmas EPs called "Hark! Songs for Christmas." Download them here. He plays a great mix of traditional Christmas songs and new ones written by Sufjan himself. My two favorite are probably "O Come O Come Emmanuel" and "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!" Do yourself a favor and check it out.

My Birthday is about a week before Christmas, and my parents got me my birthday present early, and it is an awesome, awesome gift. They got me a Latin Percussion Conga and Bongo set with stands and everything. I've been banging around on them for a couple of days now, and while I have absolutely no skill on them right now, I can't wait to put some serious practice time into them.

One thing I'm kind of bummed about, however, is the fact that we don't have a Christmas tree at the Lake House (where we're staying until our new house gets built). Its not a big deal at all, but I just like the tree as a big visual reminder of the Holiday.

I really don't have much else to say (and I know I haven't said much up until now, either). I guess I just felt like blogging, even though I really had nothing new to add. Oh well. If there is anyone that reads this that I don't see on a regular basis, do me a favor and have a Merry Christmas for me. I would really appreciate it.

A Question of Conviction?

2005-12-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking on and off for a while now about the kinds of movies, tv shows, and music I expose myself to--or for that matter, the kinds of movies, tv shows, and music that all believers in Christ expose themselves to.

I know some believers that say they listen to only Christian music because they only want to hear things that are spiritually edifying. They feel that if a song doesn't discuss or directly point to God, it is a waste of their time.

Others I know pretty much refuse to listen to any Christian music because they feel that the music itself, in 99% of the cases, is derivative and uninspired. They sometimes even feel that some (although certainly not all) aspects of spirituality, nature, the human condition, etc. are better expressed by some of today's secular bands than by most Christian artists.

In my opinion, both sides are valid. I fall somewhere in between, typically.

Movies are a little more of an intense subject. I know many believers that if an 'R' rating is mentioned at all, consider the movie to be unboubtedly a tool of Satan. If a movie has a bad word, a hint of sexuality, or extreme violence anyone who watches it is simply exposing themselves to filth and is separating themself further form God.

On the flip side, many believers have (or so they claim) no convictions at all about what they watch. They can watch 100 children be decapitated, 3 explicit sex scenes with gratuitous nudity (although, when is nudity not gratuitous?), and a hailstorm of F-bombs and S-words and have no convictions about it. And if convictions are there, they simply ignore them.

Again, I fall somewhere in between.

But I know why I fall where I fall.

My opinion is generally something like this: We are given pretty clear instructions in the bible on how we are supposed to act in most situations. But, seeing as how there were not movies back in biblical times, Jesus did not say anything specifically about what kinds of movies we, as faithful believers, can watch (although some would insist Jesus recommends a PG cutoff :-)). But here is what we do know:

Matthew 5:30 "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

Obviously if there is anything in our life that causes us to sin, we must flee from it. This is cut and dried. But there is also this:

Romans 14:13-16 "Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed becasuse of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what ou consider good to be spoken of as evil."

Romans 14:20-21 "Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but is is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall."

I know that this verse is literally talking about food and how many Jews were upset with other believers eating foods declared by the law to be unclean. But, I think, for the most part, the underlying principle applies to what we're currently talking about.

If I watch a movie that does not cause me to sin in any way (although, they definately can and have--but I'll talk about that later), I see really no reason in scripture that I should not be able to watch it. That is, unless me watching that particular movie causes a brother in Christ to stumble and struggle. In that case, I believe it is my responsibility to not watch that movie around him, discuss it around him, etc. I do not take that series of verses to mean that if any believer anywhere has a problem with a movie then the whole body of believers must refrain from watching it. I don't think that Paul was suggesting that every believer stop eating certain meats because it made certain Jews uncomfortable. No, I take it to mean that the loving thing to do was to refrain from eating those foods in the presence of those who were offended, to refrain from talking about them, etc. So, it follows that even if a number of believers disagree with a certain film, and as long as it does not cause you to personally sin, it is scripturally ok to watch it.

So the next issue is this: what kind of content can I honestly say does not cause me to sin? Well, obviously it is going to be different for every person, as well all have different sin struggles that affect us more than others. This is a personal conviction call. I can say this, personally--excessive/extended/graphic sex scenes are a no-no for me. Outside of that... I don't know. Violence typically does not make me feel the urge to commit a violent act, watching drug abuse does not make me in any way want to try drugs, and hearing crude language typically does not make me want to start using those words. Maybe it is becasue most of the movies I watch do not glorify these things, but show the evils of them.

But how can I watch a movie with repeated drug use, unbelievable acts of violence, and crude language and still walk away saying that I "enjoyed" or even "loved" said movie with a clear conscience? Well I can tell you that if the movie glamourized or promoted drug abuse, I would have a very hard time enjoying it. But nearly every film I have seen dealing indepthly with drug abuse has portrayed it as the evil it most certainly is. And to the filmmakers of those types of films I say "Bravo."

I think there is a difference between a movie with "bad" content and a "bad movie." That many movies would contain detestable behavior is nearly a given--it happens all around us. If a movie is trying to show us a truth about the real world, its probably going to have to deal with the real world as it is--bad guys and all. Even scripture makes surprising references to things that could earn a boycotting by hardcore Fundamentalist Christian moms. Let us not forget the stories of Rahab the prostitute, Abram, Sarai and Hagar, aspects of Ruth's story, the countless old-testament wars, the Song of Solomon, etc. I am no expert on the Old Testament by any means, but that list right there is a pretty good start. Its some pretty head-turning stuff. The reason they are not viewed as "bad," however, is because they are used to illustrate greater points from the real world. We don't focus on the fact that Rahab was prostitute, we focus on her great faith that she developed even after years in a job like that. And nowhere in scripture are things like adultery, prostitution, and killing glorified. They are shown as elements of the world we live in that we cannot ignore.

Now I'll give you this: many filmmakers, well, most filmmakers push it too far. They show more of these types of activities for one reason or another than is necessary to establish their point. That is where it comes back to conviction. Has the filmmaker crossed the line from thought stimulation to personal sin temptation? Has the filmmaker crossed the line from presenting a bad situation as it is to celebrating said situation? These are the things we need to consider. And for the most part it comes down to the individual. Do YOU feel like the movie crossed the line? Do I feel like the movie crossed the line?

These are really my thoughts on this issue right now. I concede that I am just an 18 year old kid, and I still have a lot that God has to teach me. Any and all input on this subject will be greatly appreciated.

--Cameron

P.S. I love you.

First Audiopost

2005-11-30T13:52:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I just realized that I could publish audio to my blog with my Cell Phone, so I thought I would set it up and give it a go. I really have nothing to say, but I may take advantage of this sweet feature in the future, so be on the lookout for that. But, anyways, without further ado, here it is:

I apologize, again.

Popular Music

2005-11-14T16:15:00.000-08:00

Every now and then I forget to bring my iPod with me when I get into my car. On those fateful days, all I have to feed my musical appetite is my handy dandy FM radio. I oftentimes wonder if the quality of popular American music has gotten any better since I swore off the radio a year or two ago. The answer is, of course, no.

The sheer ridiculousness of the majority of the music I hear on the radio blows my mind. It seems like every new "hit" song is just trying to one-up the one before it in a contest of "Who can make the most absolutely ridiculous sexual reference?" I've never heard so many bad puns, double-entendres, and made-up words in my entire life. I can't believe the media still refers to most of these people as "artists."

And so, without further ado, I give you

Heger's Most Ridiculous Songs of 2005:

3.) Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl

Uh huh, this my ****
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]

Oooh, this my ****, this my **** [4x]

I heard that you were talking ****
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]

Oooh, this my ****, this my **** [4x]

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]

Oooh, this my ****, this my **** [4x]

Let me hear you say, this **** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This **** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Again, the **** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This **** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]

Oooh, this my ****, this my **** [4x]

Commentary: First of all, I don't know what a "hollaback girl" is, but I wish she was one so she could just shut up. Oh Gwen, why? Why did you make this song? You're better than this, No Doubt is the proof. This is one of those songs that got stuck in everyone's head, so no matter where you went you always heard someone humming or singing it. I don't really know what the song is about, but here is what I've gathered: Apparently someone was "dissing" Mrs. Stefani and she wasn't too happy about it, and seeing as how she's "a few times been around that track", it ain't gon' happen like that. She perfectly summarizes the state of the situation by proclaiming it to be "bananas." And then she spells it... a lot.

2.) Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be on with me

Dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont you wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont you wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont you, dont cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon wanna share
Hmmmm....

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha, don't cha, baby
Don't cha, alright, sing
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)
Don't cha

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend you're secret is safe with me

Dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me (oh)
Dont you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me (like me)
Dont cha, dont cha, baby
Dont cha, alright, sing
Dont you wish your girlfriend was raw like me (raw)
Dont you wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)
Dont cha, dont cha

Commentary: The answer is no. No, I don't.

1.) Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these scrubbers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my *** ‘n,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t fakin’
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ***?
All that *** inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps [x3]
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ***?
All that *** inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

Commentary: Absolutely, without a shadow of the doubt, one of the dumbest, most lyrically incompetent, degrading, and embarassing songs I've heard in a long, long time. I just pulled up my iTunes, and sure enough, this song is currently the #1 downloaded song. Unbelievable. People actually paid money for it. Just when you thought the Black Eyed Peas had made the worst song they could possibly make in "Don't Phunk with my Heart," they throw us a curveball and unleash the masterpiece that is "My Humps" to the world.

-----

I don't think this is what God had in mind at all when he allowed us to "create."

In closing, these are the "hit songs" that our (well... your) children are listening to and memorizing every word of.

Thanks for listening.

He's a pretty dark knight--you should really come see this knight

2005-11-02T11:50:00.000-08:00

What do these items equate to?

1 part 7-year-old Batman costume
3 parts Under Armour
1 part toy Batman utility belt
1 part black Converse All-Stars
1 part black workers gloves

The answer? 1 disgusting Batman suit--that I just happened to wear to work at the Mall on Halloween night. My boss dared me to wear a Batman suit to work, but little did he know that I would actually do it or how... uh... "form-fitting" my suit would actually be. Needless to say, this was probably the dumbest thing I have ever done. But, to be honest, it was worth it.

Enjoy these nice prowling shots:

"Freshening up the room a little bit"

"The Heisman"

"On Lookout"

"Just jamming out a little bit"

"Household chores"

"Classic hero pose"

I'm an idiot.

---------

On a similar note, Todd Sisson, Robert Sanderson, Dustin Moser, and James Miller dressed up as the Channel 4 News team. It was glorious. Ginger McKinney dressed up as Veronica Corningstone, or, as Sandy kept repeating, "His little china doll."

From left to right: Miller as Champ Kind, Sisson as Brian Fantana, Sandy as Ron Burgundy, Ginger as Veronica Corningstone, and Moser as Brick Tamland. That may or may not have been the greatest night of my life.

A Collision Tour

2005-10-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night I went down with a crew of people to see David Crowder Band on their "A Collision Tour" in Tulsa. I'm not gonna lie to you... it was awesome.

I know that after I saw Coldplay I said that I probably never see a better show than that in my entire life, but I may just have. I'm not sure, its too early to tell. I'll have to let the experience sit and simmer for a little while.

Either way, though, Crowder was incredible. The 2 opening bands, I wasn't such a fan of, though. Robbie Seay Band opened, and while they were definately talented, I felt like they were quite generic. They were great musicians, its just that their songwriting didn't seem particularly interesting. Maybe I'm the only one...

Shane & Shane went up next. A bunch of the people I was with were already big Shane & Shane fans. I had never heard them (although I had heard a couple of their songs--I was told we sing them in FSM/The Grove quite often). Whichever shane played guitar was a very, very good guitar player. Musically, even though they apparently screwed up a few times, they were incredible. Whoever their drummer was was freaking unbelievable. But, much like I was with Robbie Seay Band, I wasn't particularly interested in their music, for the most part. I would be willing to give one of their albums a shot, though.

When Crowder came up, it was insane. They opened with "Do Not Move," a song I was seriously hoping they would play. Very intense song. When they got to "Foreverandever Etc." Crowder came out with a keytaur and discussed the "phatness" of the beat he layed down with it. Man, the guy can engage a crowd. I would love to see how he engages a community of believers while leading worship.

"You Are My Joy" was the peak of the show, I think.

They ended with "Rescue is Coming" (which, also, was awesome), left the stage, and then came out and encored with Robbie Seay and Shane & Shane on stage with them singing "Be Lifted or Hope Rising." Very, very cool.

I just realized that I have never given my impressions of the new Crowder CD "A Collision" on here. I guess now would be a good time.

I love it. I think David Crowder*Band is one of the only truly creatively progressive bands in worship music today. They're essentially the only "Christian band" that I can with confidence say is one of my favorite bands. They're probably the only "Christian band" I've ever heard that is not content with being reactive to the secular pop music scene. It seems to me that most Christian artists tend to come off as being "the Christian [insert popular band here]"--gaining their popularity by emulating a sound that a secular band got popular with. Crowder is forging his own sound, and doing a wonderful job of it. I even put Crowder up with the ranks of Radiohead, Wilco, Coldplay, Sufjan Stevens, and Guster from both a pure personal enjoyment standpoint and a creativity standpoint.

Now, with the CD "A Collision or 3+4=7", Crowder has outdone himself. He has created a very, very complete concept album. All of the ideas come off as fully realized. What is the concept? What it means for a Holy being to lower itself (in a manner of speaking) while raising us up to him for us to be able to interact (or Collide, if you will), and how death, life, forgiveness, hope, and abandonment tie into that idea. It is so densely layered with ideas and actual musical layers that it seems like every time I listen to it I discover something new--a new way to interpret a lyric, a new lyric itself, a beautiful banjo part that I had previously never heard, etc. This isn't just a collection of songs, it is a fully realized concept album from start to finish--every part seems to have a meaning. It seems like this is the album that their last CD, "Illuminate" wanted to be (another concept album with the theme of luminious vs. illuminous objects and what it means for us to reflect Christ's light). And while Illuminate was an amazing album (most likely the best contemporary Christian release in 5 years, and one of the best albums period of the year it was released), its smaller scope and narrower focus pales in comparison to "A Collision." Ok, I'm rambling. Lets just get down to the basics: I love "A Collision" and I think it is one of the best albums of the last couple of years, one of my personal favorite albums ever, and probably the most important Christian release since Dc Talk's "Jesus Freak" in the 90s.

I have a pretty funny story to tell about when I met David Crowder Band's lead guitar player, Jason Solley, Tuesday night, but my hands are getting tired. I'll post about it in a few days.

Thats all I have for now.

All there is.

2005-10-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut the other day. It was pretty long. Now its pretty short. It probably hasn't been this short since my sophomore year of high school. I kind of like it, its not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Thats exciting.

I don't really have much to say today, I guess I'm just kind of killing time. Oh wait, there is this:

I went up to Springdale High School today to see coach Ike and coach Smith. I stayed for probably 45 minutes of the basketball team's practice. It was exactly the same as it was last year. I kind of felt sorry for the guys. The same routine day in and day out used to kill me. I'm not a huge fan of monotony.

When I left, I was driving to Party City to go try on Batman and Spiderman costumes (but thats another story, ask me sometime) when I just thought about what life would be like if I had no knowledge of Christ. What if there was no hope for anything after this life? The everyday monotony, the endless cycles. Going to pre-school to be ready for kindergarten, going to kindergarten to prepare for elementary school, going to elementary school to prepare for middle school, going to middle school to prepare for Jr. High, going to Jr. High to prepare for High School, going to High School to prepare for a job or for college, going to college to prepare for a job or grad school, going to grad school to prepare for a more demanding job, getting a job to prepare to support and a family, raising children and preparing them to go through the same old cycle. Making money so you can buy more things so you can get bored with them a year later and buy newer things so you can get bored with those a year after that. Cycles.

This life just isn't all that great--lets just be honest with ourselves. Sure, it has its moments: hearing an amazing song for the first (or 20th) time, watching a sunset over an ocean, marrying your spouse, watching the birth of your child, eating a really good piece of chocolate cake. Its all good stuff. Some of it is GREAT stuff. But none of it will stand.

If life was simply us experiencing some bad things, some good things, and some great things and then simply ceasing to exist at all, was there any point to any of it?

If we just "ceased to be" when we died, who cares? You woudln't remember any of it, and then your family would die and they wouldn't remember any of it, and then eventually humans would die out and no one would remember any of it--it would be just as if we had never existed.

As believers in Christ, who knows what we will remember from this life when we enter into the presence of God? All I know is that we have the hope of entering into it, which will surpass anything else.

I'm glad this isn't all there is.

Another failure.

2005-10-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how you can forget things--important things.

I went to lunch with Brandon George a few days ago, and he started talking about an old friend of ours from elementary school. It has probably been over a year and a half since I've even thought about him. But, for the first time, hearing his name brought a serious sense of guilt and conviction.

A little bit (or a lot) of backstory: Me and this guy, his name is Benly, were probably best friends in elementary school. We spent the night with each other every couple of weeks. He would come over after school every few days to draw (and what great artists we were!). At one point, me and Benly decided to create our own series of comic strips called something like "Toyland". It was about talking toys, shoes, appliances, etc. And, yes, I think it was before "Toy Story" came out. Disney owes us. Big.

Anyways, I moved away to Dallas, TX three-fourths of the way through 4th grade. I didn't really keep in touch with Benly at all (or any of my Arkansas friends, for that matter--except George). But, one year later when I moved back, I immediately started hanging out with all of the old guys again. I didn't hang out with Benly as much as before, but we were still friends.

So, 8th grade rolls around, and I have science with him.

I would like to pause here and talk a little bit about 8th-grade Cameron. 8th-grade Cameron was not a very mature kid. He was immature in most things, in his faith moreso than other things. Looking back, my memory of myself in 8th and 9th grade is one of the most humiliating things to think about for me.

Back to the story: Towards the end of the year in science, Benly and I get into different relatively deep conversations of the spiritual nature. Benly wasn't a believer in Christ, but he enjoyed talking about certain aspects of the faith with me. One day, he came to class and asked me this: "Cameron, what would you do if one of your best friends... (he had trouble getting it out)... if one of your best friends was gay? Would you still be their friend?"

My response to this still kills me. There is not a lot I wouldn't give to go back and change it... I didn't really think about the question, I just spurted out something like "Hahaha, man, I don't know. That would be SOO weird! I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I mean, I believe that it is sin, and I don't want to be around it." He had a hard time understanding what I meant.

He probably asked me that question 5 or 6 times throughout the rest of the year, each time with more seriousness. Each time, my answer got a little more serious, but a lot less loving. The conversations started to end in full-fledged argument and bitterness. Mostly because I thought that what I was saying was a given, and I didn't know why he was so interested in that question.

I didn't really keep in touch with him over the summer, and I didn't have any classes with him in 9th grade.

When high-school rolled around, it all made sense. I was told in 10th grade that Benly "came out of the closet." He was a self-proclaimed homosexual.

I can't describe the sense of confusion and self-righteousness that filled me as I tried to figure out what all of this meant. I eventually settled on this: "I am a better person than him." Now, in my mind, Benly was a sinner, he was corrupt, he was on Satan's side. And because of this, I may or may not have started to hate him. I can't say for sure. I probably didn't, deep down, but I don't know.

Either way, I made absolutely no effort to talk to him. In fact, I made effort to not talk to him. I would purposely avoid eye-contact with him when walking down the hall. Even looking at him, "a fag", made me uncomfortable. This continued through sophomore year.

Midway through junior year, I began to realize that the way I thought about him and the way I treated him were wrong. I wanted to make things right, to a certain extent. I didn't necessarily want to be friends with him, but I did want to apologize for essentially ignoring him for 2 years.

I never got the nerve to do it, though. By the time senior year rolled around, he was no long attending Springdale High School. I knew where his old house was and had no reason to assume he had moved, but I thought going to his house would be too risky. No one I knew had his number. I was probably kind of relieved.

Since then, my entire perspective on homosexuality has changed. Homosexuals are simply people who struggle with sexual temptation/sin, except that for them, there is no holy, healthy context for it (as there is marriage for man and wife). At the same time, lets not do the "fashionable" thing and sugar-coat it--it is most definately sin. Romans 1:24-27 depicts it as an especially perverse sin (although, again, all sins are equal in that they all separate us from God). The thing is, though... we're still called to love sinners. LOVE them. Not just "tolerate" them. God did love me, after all. Anyways, I think I've gone off on a huge spiel about this before on this blog, so I'll stop there. The main point is, I was terribly out of line in treating Benly that way.

So now we're back to a few days ago. Me and George's lunch conversation. He tells me that he heard Benly had dropped out of school (not just transfered or whatever I had assumed), had gotten into drugs possibly, and was kicked out of his house. Man.

That is when the guilt really, really set in. I had kind of forgotten about him, to be honest. But, now, all of my mistakes are very clear. I failed both God and Benly with ignorance, arrogance, and hate.

I would love to have the chance to talk to him and just apologize to him and tell him if he ever needs anything to let me know. I pray that I will get that chance. I also pray that he is ok. If anyone who reads this could pray these things, and, most importantly, that he would come to know Christ--that would be huge.

People like me give Christians a bad name.

How to put on a concert

2005-09-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to see the band Coldplay live last Wednesday, September 21. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the most amazing spectacles I've ever seen. I haven't been to very many concerts at all, but I think I can still say with reasonable certainty that it will be quite some time before I experience a show as good as that was.

Me, John Michael Fohner, and Brandon George drove down to Kansas City and met David Ubben at a Waffle House a couple of miles away from the venue (Verizon Amphitheater). We got to the show about 2 hours early, giving us plenty of time to find our seats (which were very good), get some food (which was very expensive), and give Ubben a hard time about "replacing" us as his friends with new people from Mizzou (which was very funny).

The band Rilo Kiley opened for Coldplay, and they weren't bad. Their lead singer, Jenny Lewis, has a very good voice. The band had a lot of energy. It was refreshing to see a band with a woman lead-singer that wasn't your stereotypical bubble-gum pop act. It was kind of funny, though. Their lead guitar player was a little guy, probably no taller than 5'8", whom the guys I was with decided had "little man syndrome"--a nasty disposition that gives little men with guitars the feeling that they need to compensate for their lack of stature by behaving spastically and erratically on stage. Anyways, good band. I don't think I'll be buying their latest album, but good band.

There were about 30-45 minutes of down time before Coldplay came out, but when they did, it was awesome. They opened with "Square One", then moved straight into "Politik" (a concert staple), making for an incredible one-two punch of high energy. They played pretty much every song I wanted them to, with a couple of notable exceptions (those being "What If", "Shiver", and "Amsterdam". But, all is forgiven, as the songs they did play were done incredibly well. At one point--I think during "In My Place", Chris Martin ran out into the audience to sing. I didn't have a camera, but one of my friends, Susanna Stewart, did. Now, Susanna didn't go to the same show that we did (her and Hopwood went to the Dallas show 2 nights later), but I think this picture will still give you a feel for what it was like at our show.

Coldplay closed the show with "Fix You".

I guess all I can say about the show was that it was awesome. I really don't know what else to say. I now have a much deeper appreciation for them. I think they deserve their title as "Biggest Band in the World" right now. Thats all I've got for now.

Comfort

2005-09-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure that I agree with the whole "God has allowed this or this to happen because he has something better for you" mentality. So many times I hear people say things like that, and I'm just not sure that its truth.

"I know you really liked her a lot, but don't worry about the fact that you broke up--this just means God has someone better for you."

"I know you didn't get the job you wanted, but this just means that God has a better one in store for you."

In both of these situations, it is very possible that God does, in fact, have a better future-spouse or a better job for you, but it is not a certainty. We can't just say "Well, because God allowed that to happen, he has to have this in store..." The fact is, most of the time we don't know how God works.

Thousands of people have lost their homes in New Orleans, many of them (I'm sure) are Christians. Some of them won't get "better homes". In fact, many of them might be without homes for the rest of their lives. God allowed this to happen, and sure, he has a plan for it, but we don't know what that plan is.

Countless Christians become martyrs every year--some spend nearly their whole lives in pain and suffering for their faith. God does not "rescue" them (in the sense that we might expect him to), or have a "better" earthly life for many of them in the cards.

It seems to me that, oftentimes, we have a clouded view of what our relationship is to God. I started talking to Roland about this today at FSM and he said that he thinks the American church, on the whole, really neglects certain aspects of Christianity that might be viewed as unattractive by many. He said we put way too much emphasis on the self. I agree with him. We are, oftentimes, too afraid to admit that our worldly happiness doesn't necessarily have a whole lot of value to God.

Just to clarify, I know that there are a ton of examples in scripture where it talks about God working for the good of those that love him. I just think that sometimes what we view as "the good" might not line up correctly with God's defintion of it.

Heaven is going to a great reward--thats a given, but we honestly don't know what God's plan is for our earthly lives, or if our "happiness" is a part of it. We do know that joy is, though. And that is comforting.

some things

2005-09-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

Wow, it really feels like its been forever since I blogged last. Not too much is new, and I don't really have that much to say, so this might be a little bit of a random post.

First of all, I get to go see Coldplay in concert next Wednesday, the 21st (which is the day I present my first speech in Communications). I seriously can't wait. I'm a lucky, lucky kid.

Second of all, I am not a big fan of "street evangelists", at least not in the sense that I'm about to describe. A family came to the University mid-last week and stood on the corner of the street right in the middle of campus and started (literally) screaming at the top of their lungs to people all of the reasons they were going to hell. When a friend of mine tried to ask them a couple of questions (and he even did it in a very non-confrontational way), they refused to acknowlege him and continued shouting at all of the students who walked by. I guess the biggest thing I felt while walking by was embarassment. I wanted to walk up to each person that heard what they were saying and whisper to them "This is not Christianity, I apologize".

David Ubben, when he came down here for Labor Day weekend, told us about a similar family that "preaches" every day at Mizzou. The family's online flash presentation is so rediculous that I thought it was made by someone to make fun of them, but, no, its from their official website. Check it out. There is one point where the video claims that "Brother Jed" (the patriarch) is sinless. Interesting. Now, I don't want to get any kind of self-righteousness--I know I'm just as much of a wreck as those guys. We've all fallen, and yes, we have been redeemed, but until we die, our sanctification is not yet complete therefore we all still sin. Even Paul, in the beginning of 1 Timothy, claimed that he was the world's worst sinner. We are all flawed. I recognize this... its just that I get extra-frustrated with people who I feel do not accurately portray the message of the Gospel. Anyways, enough of that rant.

Third of all, my Dad started a blog. It is called "I Hate Houston Nut!." While it might be a little harsh of a title, I agree with the intent of the blog: To get Houston Nut fired from the head coaching position of the University of Arkansas football team. It is now obvious that the Hogs are never going to return to a state of national prominence with him calling the shots.

Finally, I'm getting really excited about my band, the Christmas Fuller Project. We are making a lot of progress and I am really, really enjoying the way our songs are turning out. We hope to have a 5-or-so song demo done in the next 2-3 months. One could check out the band's blog to read the lyrics for our current songs and to keep up with the general progress of the band, if one were so inclined.

Thats all I've got for now.

p.s. I'm very upset that the Jim Jarmusch-directed, Bill Murray-starring film "Broken Flowers" is not being released anywhere in Northwest Arkansas. I really want to see it badly.

p.p.s. Sufjan Stevens... if you haven't heard him--hear him. His album "Come On, Feel the Illinoise" is one of the best album's I've ever heard. And he's a Christian, what are the odds?

I know a reality tv star...

2005-08-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that my good friend David Ubben is going to be on a web-based reality show this winter. For those of you that don't, here is the story:

Ubben got an email a month or two ago telling him about this new web-based reality show AOL is doing called "Project: Freshman". 1 kid from 6 different schools would be selected and then would have to keep a video diary of their first semester of college that would be edited by AOL and turned into a show. Ubben wanted to do it, so we put our heads together and came up with a little video that featured many of our idiotic exploits (Bumping, Boxing, Air-soft gun wars, etc.).

Surprise, surprise, Ubben won! Out of like 400 video applicants our little African-American buddy won a spot on the show. Now, our first real glimpse of the show is available to us online: Just click here. He's the one with the Mizzou shirt on.

Needless to say, this is pretty cool. Those of us who were at Ubben's going away party have a legitimate chance of making it onto the show, so thats pretty cool, too.

Anyways, this post was just an excuse to link to that video up there, which I think is pretty cool. Check it out (yea, I linked it twice).

Story Time

2005-08-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in the dorm Thursday night by myself with nothing to do, when I think "Hey, I'm kind of hungry." So I take out my phone and call my good buddy Aaron Hopwood and ask him what he's up to. "Oh, I'm just eating at the Student Union," he says. "Who all is there?" "Uh, me, Susanna, and a bunch of rush girls," he responds. "So its pretty much just you and Susanna?" "Yep. But you can come if you want." So I said "Ok, I think I will. I'll be down there in a few minutes."

So I begin the long and strenuous on-foot journey up the hill to the Student Union, wondering why the Union is open so late (by this time it is probably 9:30p). When the Union is finally in sight, I notice a strange fact. There is not a single guy in a 60-yeard radius of this place. "Oh well, maybe they're all inside," I think to myself. So I walk in the doors and walk up into the food court.

There are probably 400 girls there. And 1 guy. That would be me.

Now don't get me wrong--I'm a fan of the ladies. But at this moment I knew something had to be terribly wrong for me to be the only guy there.

"What the heck?" I think to myself. "I am going to fight Hopwood."

So, I slowly walk through trying to figure out whats going one, when I decide to call Hopwood. No answer. "Yep, he's dead."

I see some girls I know waving at me, so I walk over to them and ask them what this is all about. They explain to me that every girl that is rushing has to stay at the Union until 1:00am. They then tell me some rediculous stories about frat guys who had been following them around all night, making cat-calls at them.

Around that time, I see Hopwood in the back corner of the union.

"I gotta go, I gotta talk to Hopwood. I'll see y'all later."

"What the heck, man!?" I say.
"What?" he asks.
"When you told me that it was you, Susanna, and a bunch of sorrority girls here, I didn't think you literally meant JUST YOU, SUSANNA, AND A BUNCH OF SORRORITY GIRLS!"
"Oh, my bad, haha." he says.

So I decide that, since I'm here, I'm just gonna get some food and not make it a wasted trip. While I'm waiting in line, a gross realization makes its way into my head--the realization that I'm THAT guy. All these girls think I'm the guy thats there just to try to get my pimp on and what not. I freeze with humiliation. I am THAT guy.

While I'm pondering this, a friend of mine named Allie comes up to me. We make a little small talk and then I tell her about how embarassed I am about being here. She says she understands and then pauses. "NO YOU CANNOT HAVE MY NUMBER!" she yells and then walks off. 15 girls turn around and stare at me with disgusted looks on their faces.

FIN

Dorm Life

2005-08-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

So about my last post... I'll probably get around to actually typing it one of these days. It was kind of serious. But, until I feel like it retyping it, I'll just post about whatever I feel like posting about. For now, its dorm life.

Roland and I moved into Pomfret Thursday. So far, it has been pretty cool. The food's not bad and its cool to be just a few steps away from so many of my friends. Here are a few pictures of our humble abode:

The Hallway (with Nick)

The Hallway Again (with Nick)

Looking in the Door

Heger's Side

The Middle

Roland's Side

As always, keep it classy.

unbelievable

2005-08-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well I just spent an hour typing a post only to have it accidentally deleted. I am very mad right now. I guess I will try to type it again tomorrow.

Check out Teters's blog.

Church people

2005-07-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

I overheard an interesting conversation with one of my managers at work today. She was telling some story that I caught the tail end of, the only part I heard being "And I hope his only son turns out to be gay! That would be hilarious."

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, my girlfriend's dad is a church-person--not that there's anything wrong with that! I like church people!" she replied. She said "not that there's anything wrong with that" because she knows I'm a Christian and therefore a "church person". She didn't want to offend me, I guess.

She continued, "You know, everytime my girlfried is around him now, he makes everyone keep their distance from her. 'Shun the lesbians' he says... or at least it seems like he must say that."

What followed was my favorite part:

"I mean, he goes to church every Sunday, never misses a sermon. Except for the ones on 'not judging lest you be judged'."

"The ones on acceptance," I said.

"Exactly!" she said.

"The ones on love," I said.

"Love! Yes!"

"Thats sad," I said. And it is sad.

It makes me sad that the Christian stereotype is now associated with something negative, something hateful and judgemental. What used be the "salt" and the "light" now is the gavel and the sounding block.

We've screwed something up.

When did the Christianity become something negative? When did God become a justification and a motive for hate? When did the church become a tool to be used to swing votes for political campaigns? I don't know. But it makes me very sad. I can't imagine how sad it makes Jesus.

The worst part about this whole thing is that, at times, I'm that guy. I'm the guy that uses God as a motive for hate (whether I realize it or not). I'm the guy that uses scripture to condemn others when only God has that right. Etc., etc., etc.

The fact is, there is a law. There is an absolute right and wrong. But it is not my job to make anyone obey that law. Someone who doesn't love Christ has no reason to obey his commands, so we need to stop acting as if they do.

Jesus didn't use "gay" as a derogatory term. He didn't walk up to adulteresses and tell them they were dirty whores (and, for that matter, he didn't call them dirty whores behind their backs). He loved them and invited them to his dinner table. He told others to quit judging them. He befriended these downtrodden people. Then, later, in love, he told them to repent and sin no more. JESUS did.

Jesus was awesome.
--Heger

Moving (After)

2005-07-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

Its kind of sad to see the house like this...

My room.

The "Band Room".

The "TV Room".

Girls are pretty

2005-07-19T00:21:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be honest, sometimes I get a little lonely. Sometimes I feel like there's a little gap in my life. Sometimes I really wish I had a girl that I could really care about and that could really care about me. That would make me complete.

Then I pick up a bible and randomly start reading it and come across this verse:

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.'"

And I start to think that I'm on to something. I start to think "Thats it! That's what I've been looking for! It is NOT good for me to be alone!"

But then I check out what good ole' Paul was up to:

"Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry."

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."

"Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife."

Oh.

But why would Paul say something like that? Well, its almost a given:

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife--and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Makes sense.

Its just that a wife is something that I really want. To selflessly love someone so much that I would lay down my life for them just as Christ did for the church is something I want to give to/do for someone.

I once heard Laural Eddleman say that at the moment in her life when she completely gave up worrying about finding a husband and became totally dependent on God and, essentially, became comfortable with the idea of living a life of undivided attention to the Lord, God gave her Josh.

I realize all of this, and I think its quite beautiful. Its just that sometimes its tough to not want to just jump into a relationship. I've wanted to before. Its tough to see a Godly woman and realize that I just am simply not ready to offer her anything of worth yet until I've offered God everything I have. Its hard when you want to give someone something, but you have nothing to give. I've got to get to the point where I don't worry about stuff like this. To simply live has to be Christ, and to die has to be gain.

As long as I feel like I'm "incomplete" without a "significant other", I will never deserve one.

And even now, the fear is creeping up in the back of my mind that I only want to depend on God like this simply because I think I have a better chance of getting married than without doing it. I have to truly, and I mean truly desire nothing but God. Needless to say, this is his work to do and it is my job to seek him and let him break me down. I sure as heck can't do it.

Let me rephrase the start of this post:
-----
I'm gonna be honest, sometimes I get a little lonely. Sometimes I feel like there's a little gap in my life. And the very fact that I think it exists is why it can't be filled.

Moving

2005-07-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

My family is moving tomorrow. Here are some pictures of the "important" parts of my home before it is emptied. Remember the good times.

My room.

The "Band Room".

The "TV Room".

Worship

2005-07-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time with corportate/community worship sometimes. I have a hard time staying focused sometimes. I am easily distracted and Satan knows it and he exploits it. But I also think that part of the problem lies in how we view "good" worship.

Before I go any further, let me back up a little bit.

When I'm at a Church worship service or whatever, I intend to worship God however he leads me to. I try to stay sensitive to what he is leading me to do. Its great. God and I can just hang out and I can tell him how I feel about him and how grateful I am for him and I can ask him questions. The only thing is, there are other people there with us.

This sometimes causes 2 problems. Problem 1 is that whenever I get moved to stand up/lift my hands/do a little jig/whatever, I begin to think about what other people are thinking. If I'm one of the only people doing it, do they think I'm showboating? Do they think I'm trying to prove how "spiritual" I am by doing that stuff? And, in all acutality, am I? Sometimes no. Othertimes, yes.

Problem 2 is that if I don't feel moved to stand when everyone else is, if I feel like I'm worshiping how I need to be by just sitting silently/laying down/singing quietely/etc., do people think I'm not into it? Do they think I'm falling asleep? Do they think I'm spiritually bankrupt at the moment? Do they think I'm not standing just to be different and, therefore, once again, to make myself look "spiritual"? Sometimes no. Othertimes, yes.

Whenever I am focused on God and praising him, none of this is a problem. The problems come when I put the focus on my self. That is when I start comparing myself to everyone around me--that is when I start worrying about what kind of presentation I am putting off.

The thing is, with so many songs these days proclaiming what WE do (with words saying "WE love you lord WE love you", "WE stand and lift up OUR hands", "so WE raise up holy hands", "WE bow down"), it is not difficult to start thinking about what I am doing. (note: Not that I have a problem with any of these song lyrics, I recognize that they are still about giving glory to God, I'm just saying)

Also, I've hard a lot of talk from our Chruch staff about how "good" worship was at this service or how "passionate the kids seemed" at that service. And the measuring stick for how "good" a service is tends to be how visibly passionate the students get during it, meaning how many of them stand up/lift up their hands/cry/etc. Now I completely agree that the staff needs to be aware of how good of a job they are doing at providing an easy environment to encounter God in, and that they should always try to improve in that area. And I also realise that seeing how many kids lift their hands or whatever is probably the best thing we have to go by. But still, it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Sometimes I just get frustrated by the emphasis on "passion" in worship. Only because when people refer to it they tend to only mean "visible passion" or outward displays of "passion". I completely agree that worshippers should be passionate, but I think passion is more of a state of heart than something that can always be physically measured.

Emotion. Emotion is another thing. Sometimes I get self conscious because sometimes it seems like I'm the only one at a service who isn't crying or hasn't cried during the service. To be honest, I've probably only cried 2 or 3 times during worship through song. Ever. And even then, it probably wasn't a full-fledged "cry", it was more like a couple of tears.

I think too often people can get being emotional about something confused with being passionate about it or loving it. C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, I believe, talks about how simple emotion can't be depended on solely to sustain love. True love is something that blossoms into its maturity long after "falling in love" has taken place. Couples completely in love who have been married for years don't have the same outward emotional response to each other that they had when they were newlyweds, but I guarantee that their bond is much more real and much stronger than 20 years earlier when they barely new each other. I think this is how it is with God. For me, at least. I just don't get that emotional about him and what he's done for me anymore. I want to. I think it would be beautiful if I could. I just can't. I don't. I love him all the same and I completely understand all he's done for me and all he will do for me and how ungrateful I am etc., but I've known it since I was 10. It just doesn't attack my feelings anymore they way it once might have.

I heard someone say one time "You know, when you're up on stage leading worship, you can tell exactly where someone is in their spiritual walk by how they are worshiping." I don't know about that. Maybe. In some cases, certainly. But in other cases, not at all. I would hate to be the guy (and I probably have been) who just doesn't feel particularly led to stand and dance around during worship--who, rather, feels led to just sit in stillness and sing heartsongs to God and is then viewed by the staff as "the guy most in need of prayer". (But, then again, me even thinking about that is just my pride coming out--my longing to be viewed as a "spiritual leader")

My point is, I just want to reach the point where I can do these things:
* Stay seated without feeling like I'm letting the ministry down by not being "passionate"
* Stand up without people thinking I'm trying to impress everyone else
* Not feel like a cold-hearted shell of a man when I don't get overwhelmed with emotion

To be honest, I realize that a lot of this is just me being distracted and not being focused on God. But I do think that some of it is a real issue that should be discussed.

I guess, in the end, I just don't want some kid out there to ignore how God wants him to worship by standing with everyone else or sitting with everyone else--I wan't everyone to realize that they can worship however they want whenever they want.

Sorry if this is a jumbled, incoherent mess. Its 1:38 in the morning and all of this is just pouring out of me randomly. I might edit it soon.

Goodnight.

Children

2005-07-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

My sister came over today around 1:00 with her two daughters (my two nieces), Katheryn and Bree. They were out back swimming for a while with my mom. After a while, I went out back to see how Jennifer and my mom were doing (and to see the two little weasles).

Katheryn is 6 (I think), and she is hilarious. She really likes me a lot, I think. She will give me all the hugs and kisses I want.

Bree, on the other hand, is still a little shy. She is somewhere between 1 and 2 I think (sorry, I'm terrible with judging babies' ages... she can talk a little if that helps) and until today she had never even acknowledged me. She gave me my first hug and kiss today. It was very special.

Anyways, we were all out back by/in the pool, and I decided to try to have a conversation with Bree.

I started out with a simple question, "How are you today, Bree?" to which she responded with "My mommy!" and pointed to Jennifer. I said "Yup, that is your mommy, but how are you doing?". "My mommy" and a point. "Bree, I know that that is your mommy, but what are you doing?" "My mommy". "Okay, okay... what's your favorite song?" "My mommy!" Every single question I asked her she responded with the same two words and a point to my sister (granted, the wording I asked her the questions with was intentionally over her head, so she was probably confused, but still).

Being the jerk that I am, I then thought, "I can have a little fun with this."

So a few minutes later, it hit me. I was going to try to confuse her. Bree was sitting right next to my mom, so I looked at Bree, then pointed to my mom and said "My mommy". Bree again responded "My mommy" and pointed to Jennifer. So then I pointed to Jennifer and said "My sissy". "My mommy!" Bree said. I'll transcribe the rest:

Me: "(pointing to my mom)My mommy, (pointing to my sister) My sissy."
Bree: "My mommy!"
Me: "(pointing to Jennifer) My sissy."
Bree: "My mommy!!"
Me: "My mommy, my sissy, my niece, my mommy, my sissy, my mommy, my mommy, my sissy, my niece."

*pause*

Bree: "MY MOMMY!"

I probably kept that going for 5 minutes, with Bree getting gradually more and more upset that I couldn't understand that her mommy was all that mattered in the world. She was almost on the verge of tears when I said "Okay, Bree, that's your mommy over there." She looked up at me with the most sincere eyes and said "Yup, my mommy." and then went back to her business.

It hit me later that no matter what question I asked her, she would respond the same way "My mommy". To her, her mommy is all that matters in the world right now. Her mommy is all that she is passionate about. Bree can't make her own food, she can't "go potty" by herself, she can't even hardly open a door. She is completely dependent on Jennifer for her every need. Thus, no matter what I could think to ask her, she would not be wavered. All she cared about was where her mommy was and she made sure that everyone else knew who her mommy was/where she was.

At that time the disciples cam to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like these little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18.1-4)

Bree can't do anything. She's completely dependent. We've all heard this comparison a million times. "Jesus wants us to become like children because children are dependent and can do nothing on their own yada yada yada..."

Yes.

But, Bree showed me the other side--a possible other reason why God chose children as the model. Its because they are so in love with and obsessed with those who provide for them. Bree answered every question I asked with "My mommy", and while it was not a very coherent answer (especially when the question I ask is "what did you do today?") it made me dang of sure where her focus was. Her mind was completely focused on her mom, the person who is the very reason why Bree is even alive. And that focus and love spilled over into every single thing she did today.

If we were only like that. Passionately and blindly in love with the Father.

I can see it now:

Random Friend: "Heger, so I saw such and such movie, what did you think?"
Me: "My Daddy! ...I mean, it was pretty good."
RF: "So do you know if anything is going on tonight?"
Me: "MY DADDY! ...uh, sorry, what?"
RF: "I asked if anything is going on tonight that you know of?"
Me: "MY DADDY!!"
RF: "...ok, you're an idiot, I've got to go..."
Me: "Dadddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!"

Well... that probably was the single worst example conversation I could possibly have written. Oh well. Obviously God is not going to give us a passion for him that makes us completely illogical and semi-retarded. But, you know what I'm saying...

Accidents Happen

2005-06-30T14:07:00.000-07:00

I got in a car wreck today. I was at a stop light and I was messing with my phone when I glanced up and saw that the light was green. I let off the brake, not knowing how close the car in front of me was, and I hit it before it even had to move. I got out and walked over to her car to make sure she was ok. I asked her if her neck was alright and helped her out of her car. We walked back to look at the damage and the front of my truck was pretty deep into the back of her little car.

I told her we should probably get out of the middle of the road and into a parking lot, she was hesitant at first (she probably thought I was going to try to run on her), but she agreed shortly. I backed my car out of hers and followed her to the AQ Chicken House parking lot. I called my dad and told him what happened and he told me what to do. So I called the cops and we made small talk while we waited for them to show up.

I kept telling her how sorry I was and how it was all my fault and how I was just being irresponsible, and she seemed to not be too upset. When the police officer got there, he had us fill out these sheets, and to make a long story short, I feel terrible right now.

I feel terrible for smashing the back of her car, for ruining her day, and for wasting her time. It was 100% my fault. She told me that she worked out of her car which made it twice as bad. My car only has a few scratches on it (thankfully, although it still makes me feel that much worse).

My parents don't seem that upset, although we'll see what happens whenever we find out how much we have to pay and how much my insurance goes up.

The last thing I want is a talk on responsibility and safe driving. I know the errors I made today. I was there. I feel terrible. Lesson learned. Everybody has to have their first wreck sometime, right? Maybe.

I just pray that I was able to communicate the love of Christ to that woman today. I mean, as bad as that siutation was, I probably never would have gotten to interact with her were it not for this. I was praying at the time that I would handle myself in a way that is glorifying to God and I continue to pray that now. If nothing else, I hope that woman can understand that I love her and, after that, that her Creator loves her and that my love comes from that love.

I'm a freaking idiot.

Son of a...

2005-06-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

This is rediculous! You know, I think I know myself pretty well. I pride myself on that. That is why it is especially heart-breaking for me when I come to discover something about myself that is unexpectedly dissapointing. It turns out, much to my disbelief, that I am only 15% crunk! That is rediculous. I've always considered myself a MINIMUM 60%-75% crunk kinda guy. But, I took an online test to gauge my crunk-ness and it turns out otherwise. See for yourself:

...you think you know yourself...

Love

2005-06-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

I'm just not a very loving person.

And how could I be? I'm a fake, filthy, rotten, ugly, self-gratifying, rebellious, self-righteous, judgemental little boy.

Luckily, God doesn't care about any of that. He has even come to dwell in my heart in the person of the Holy Spirit. And he is none of those things.

I pray that I will allow the Spirit to work in and through me--that I will not get in its way.

I want to love the way that Jesus did, the way that only God has. I want to shower everyone of I come into contact with love--pure, unconditional, selfless, agape love. I want to die to myself every day and put on the person of Christ.

I want to love the LORD God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind. Then, I want to love my neighbor as myself.

Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" is a good book.

I need a new screenname

2005-05-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of guy that likes one screenname for all of his "internet stuff". My AIM screenname, my blogger.com login, my best buy login, my email address, everthing. One name. My current one is "Ballplaya42" (except for AIM, which is "Ballplayanum42"). I created it, literally, in 6th grade.

Its time for a new one.

The problem is that I've got nothing. I can't think of anything to replace it with. I need your help.

I am going to post this on all of my blogs, and whichever one you read this on, if you can think of any new screen name for me that is somewhat cool--or, at least, cooler than "BallPlaya", please post it. I need your help.

Thanks.

Cam

Subterranean Homesick Alien

2005-05-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

The breath of the morning
I keep forgetting.
The smell of the warm summer air.

I live in a town
where you can't smell a thing,
you watch your feet
for cracks in the pavement.

Up above
aliens hover
making home movies
for the folks back home,

of all these weird creatures
who lock up their spirits,
drill holes in themselves
and live for their secrets.

They're all uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight.

I wish that they'd sweep down in a country lane,
late at night when I'm driving.
Take me on board their beautiful ship,
show me the world as I'd love to see it.

I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me,
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely.
I'd show them the stars and the meaning of life.
They'd shut me away.
But I'd be alright, alright,
I'd be alright,
I'm alright.

I'm just uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight.

-"Subterranean Homesick Alien" by Radiohead

I love the band Radiohead. If you've been around me much, you probably know that. I think they are the best band around right now. They make some of the most creative, intelligent, thought-provoking, challenging, and, ultimately, engaging music that I have ever heard.

The lyrics I just posted are from the song "Subterranean Homesick Alien" off of their third, and widely regarded as their best album, OK Computer, released in 1997.

Thom Yorke, the lead singer and general mastermind behind the band, sometimes gets a bad rap for being somewhat pessimistic. Sometimes he does appear that way. I don't hear Radiohead's songs like that, however. When I hear them, I hear songs about loss, despair, hurt, need--all of these things, yes. But through them something else emerges--hope. Coming through ever-so-slightly like little rays of sunlight though tiny holes in a huge black canvas, hope permeates Radiohead's message.

The song above.

The opening two stanzas (Are they stanzas? I don't know... but it works for me...) talk about the main character's 'town'. Obviously referencing the world in general. The town has drained him and has left him dead to the simple pleasures of life ("i keep forgetting the smell of the warm summer air") and people have grown afraid of everything. False religions and superstitions have overtaken the town as people are afraid to even step on the streets' cracks (for fear of breaking their mothers' backs?).

Everyone is not in this state, however. "Up above, aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home." These creatures, obviously unaffected by our world's fallen nature, see our sad and desolate state just for what it is--sad and desolate. They see fallen man for what he is, a "sad creature" who has "locked up his spirit," "drilled holes in himself," and has begun to "live for his secrets." They are so uptight.

The main character acknowledges that these aliens are not as desperate as us. He wants them to "abduct" him, to show him the world as they do--unbound. Unfettered. Free. Redeemed.

He realizes that if they did, no one would believe him. He would "show them the stars and the meaning of life" but they would say that he'd "lost it completely" and would "shut him away". He would be viewed as crazy. Insane. But, in the end, he would be alright.

I love this song. Lyrically and musically, this thing is just solid. Obviously, man has fallen. C.S. Lewis, in one of his books (I forgot which one I read it in) mentions that if there are, in fact, other intelligent creatures out there, that we have no right to assume that they, too, have fallen away from the Father. Now that is an amazing and challenging thought.

Fortunately, we don't need aliens to show us what we're missing. Christ came and did that for us.

But, man, what a thought.

a revelation in noise (not really)

2005-05-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

So its Wednesday, May 11 at 12:29am. I've got "Holiday in Spain" by Counting Crows (an excellent song that Roland introduced me to) on repeat on my laptop's iTunes. This is only the third time I've ever listened to the song, but it, for some reason, is putting me in a sad and/or emotional mood.

I love how music can do that.

I love how a certain lyric or vocal melody or guitar riff or piano line or even a tempo can cause emotion to swell up inside of you. I think that that is a huge characteristic of great art--something that jumps out and forces you to respond to it. And, to take it a little further, something that challenges you.

I love how God created us to be moved by music, how a bunch of random noises can come together to create something remarkable.

19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:19-20)

Moses refers to God as his "song"

2 The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
my father's God, and I will exalt him. (Exodus 15:2)

I think it is safe to say that a decent amount of emphasis is put on music in the bible... at least it is made known that music is a pretty big part of many believers' lives. I know its a big part of mine.

Anyways, yea, it hadn't really set in yet that I was done with high school until tonight, as Adam Duritz's voice comes out of my small laptop speakers. I'm having a serious 'moment' right now. High School is over. I'm done. Now I go to school to prepare for whatever I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Crazy.

All it took was the right combination of noises to get me to realize it.

Crazy.

Taking the 'Sex' out of 'Sexy'

2005-05-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

David Crowder of the David Crowder band is literally my favorite person in the world right now. "But Cameron," you surely are saying, "You don't know him. He's a national recording artist from Texas and you're just a mild-mannered teenager." To that I say: you're right. But, I don't have to personally know him to think that he is the man. The guy is just funny. He is the literally the only person I can think of that makes me laugh out loud after around 80% of what he types. Yes, types. His xanga was what inspired me to make my own blog. It is just straight awesome. Roland, one of my other favorite peoples in the world, got me his book, "Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi", and I've got to say it... I think I have a little bit of a man-crush on Crowder...

What?

Before I go on, let me define "man-crush" for you:

Man-crush (N) When one heterosexual male has certain feelings for another male that emulate the ones he has for a female object of his adoration. These feelings include a general longing to be near that person, giddyness when one hears that person's voice, and a general deep admiration for that person.

A cookie to anyone who can tell me whether man-crush is a noun or not and, if not, what it actually is because I have no idea. I'm an idiot.

I was first introduced to the phrase "man-crush" by the Grove's very own Drew Caperton, whom Roland introduced me to, and I have to say, it stuck with me. Caperton actually used the phrase referencing Roland, which was not surprising. I'm sure lots of dudes have had man-crushes on my firey-haired amigo. I know I have...

Now, again, there is nothing gay about it. I don't want Crowder's body. I just think he is the man.

In all seriousness, the guy is amazing. Obviously, he is one of the most talented and creative musicians in music today, Christian or otherwise. Surprisingly, however, he is a remarkable writer, as well. The guy has a genuine and true passion for God, which becomes contagious when you read him. His sense of humor is right on par with mine, too (That is not to say that I am anywhere near as funny as him, or funny at all... I just think we look at comedy in a similar way).

David crowder, I salute you.

A Brief Outline

2005-05-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Here is a brief outline of the goals I have for this blog. First of all, I don't wan't this to be a place where I cry about how hard life has been on me or how miserable I am because:
(A.) My life, generally, tends to be pretty easy so I'm never really that miserable
(B.) There are very few things I could whine about that wouldn't make me feel like an ingrateful idiot
(C.) I hate pity-parties

I want this blog to be a place where I can tell amusing stories, share pieces of wisdom I've recieved from others, post my thoughts on things (no matter how incoherent they may be), and, in general, talk about whatever I want. Hopefully some of the things I say will be funny. Hopefully some of the things I say will not be funny.

A warning:

Please do not expect something cool/interesting/entertaining everytime I post... or ever. I'm going to use this blog to post stuff that I feel isn't really applicable to the Cell Group Blog or the Christmas Fuller Blog (and most everything is applicable on those blogs), so you can kind of think of this as my 'reject-blog'. All of the things I have to say that aren't good enough for public consumption will dwell here.

My posts will probably vary in length. They will probably range from 3 word phrases to, essentially, essays.

My posts will vary in content. They will probably range from a random quote (by C.S. Lewis, Nick Roland, or someone else) to a piece of poetry I have written to a critique of a random household item.

Thats all I've got for now, if I think of any other goals I have for this blog, I will edit the post.

First Post

2005-04-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

Just trying it out for size, you know.