Why do you believe it to be true?

"Although I try to fend off dicussions like this, Cameron's response made me curious. You seem intelligent enough, so I ask you WHY you believe it to be true.

WHY, without any real, convincing evidence to support that Jesus was not just another human, do you accept that Christ is your personal savior?

WHY, without regard to the rules of logic, do you come to the conclusion that God probably exsists?

Don't get me wrong, I fully respect the belief you presented because it gives everyone the opportunity to be "saved" regardless of what their parents taught them was right, but I still can't grasp why you feel the need to invent (I do not want to use that word but I can't think of a better one) such a tale to explain something that could just be left unknown."

This quote was directed at me just a couple of weeks ago. I had decided to weigh in on an acquaintance's online discussion about the role of "religious practices" in Christianity, and my comments prompted an individual to ask me the above question.

Its a tough question.

This instance was, honestly, one of only three or four times in my entire life when I had been asked, point-blank, the reason why I believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God by someone not sharing my belief. And the last time was probably over 3 years ago.

I was glad that he asked me. I looked forward to actually having to compile my rationale into something of a point-by-point account of my though process. My response, as poorly-written as it was, works decently as a quick summary of why I believe what I believe. Here is a slightly tweaked version of it:

"What has convinced me of the truth of the Gospel (and I use the word "convinced" cautiously, because of course there are many, many times when I doubt, I question, and have to rely on the good ole' Christian fall-back faith... actually, I have to rely on it at all times), you might find completely unconvincing. Personally, the person of Jesus Christ and his message is the most beautiful and worthwhile thing I have ever heard. I think that it truly presents the most beautiful way to live. I think that the sort of descent of humanity presented in the Bible makes perfect sense and goes a long way to explain why there is evil in the world, why there is good in the world, and why we can tell the two apart. It validates good art and gives it worth, it gives value to human life, it assures that "love" is real and is important, it is able to speak to things that science has no way of approaching (all of this is simply my opinion, of course).

Obviously, there have been countless books written about the scientific evidence for and against specific claims in the bible written by men much smarter and more informed than me. There have been countless books supporting and refuting the existence of Christ from a purely historical standpoint, and then books about his resurrection. I don't really want to get into a debate about this stuff (and am nowhere near qualified to do so). I'll just say that the "official" cultural verdict (if it even matters) is still out on pretty much all of that stuff regardless of what both certain Christians and their counterparts would like to say.

I guess the last thing I'll say is something that, really, will likely be of no value to you. You can think its crazy or a lie or whatever. But another reason why I believe these things is because I really do have a relationship with Jesus. I have encountered him in subtle, but unmistakable ways--felt his nudging in my heart, heard his soft voice, witnessed some small-scale miracles, and have been changed. The days that I spend seeking him through prayer and scripture, I really do believe, make me a more humble, compassionate, and loving person--not that I'm not still just terrible now, but he is definitely doing a work in me. I am different than I was 5 years ago. I am different than I was 1 year ago. These are the things I lean on when I doubt or when I don't feel him. He has given me these wonderful experiences to look back to in times of insecurity."

Rough read, right? I think the main point I was trying to make is that it isn't scientific or historical "proof" that has convinced me of the truth of the Gospel--it is Jesus Christ, his character, and the work he has done in me and through me that gives me confidence. That other stuff might be what others cling to, but for me the beauty of the Son of God himself is where I find my assurance.

"Fight Night" Disappointment

Last night the fifth boxing night that my friends and I put on happened. Let me give you a little background on the event. It all started a little over 2 years ago when my friends and I rented "Fight Night: Round 2" for ps2. We all created boxers in the game with our exact heights, weights, and appearances. For a couple of days we had tournaments with our digital representations before we asked ourselves, "Hey, why don't we just really box?" So we did.

A couple of my friends bought boxing gloves and head gear, everyone bought their own mouthpiece, and we had the first real-life "Fight Night" in a friend's back yard. Everyone came up with a "character" that they would play for the matches (similar to pro-wrestling, I guess). We filmed the event and I edited it into a 10-minute video, which we have done with every Fight Night since.

When it was my time to fight, I became Cameron "Captain Insanity" Heger. I wasn't very good. I fought my good friend Tyler "The Mystical Dragon" Ceola the first time and lost the decision.

A month or two later, we had the 2nd Fight Night, this time with several spectators present. "Captain Insanity" lost his 2nd bout to Ryan "Pilgrim Rest" Toomer. It was disappointing. At this point, I was the only one of my friends with 2 losses and 0 wins.

Fight Night round 3 happened a significant amount of time later (I dont' remember exactly when). Many of our friends came out to watch the boxing. I suffered my worst loss yet.

At this point, I knew I had to do something--I couldn't keep on losing all of my matches. And instead of doing something to improve my actual boxing skill, I relied on superstition and blamed my losses on my name ("Captain Insanity")--so I changed my name to Cameron "The Bad Minton" Heger. The funny thing is, I did actually win my fight at the next fight, which happened probably 6 months after Fight Night round 3, with probaby 15 spectators or so. "The Bad Minton" was officially undefeated.

We started planning the fifth Fight Night at the beginning of the summer. I had the idea to try to get into actual decent boxing shape. Before I had a match lined up, I started training every day for the 3 weeks leading up to the fight. Ellen hand-crafted custom boxing shorts for me. I borrowed an old bath robe from my dad. I was going to get a 2nd win.

So last night, it went down. I fought a friend I had known for a long time (going all the way back to elementary school). He had some size on me, but I figured I would be in better shape. Anyway, the bell rang and I came out much more aggressive and confident than I had ever been before. It was the first time I had ever really had much power behind my punches, and I wasn't tiring very fast at all. It seemed that I had won the first round by a pretty big margin. So I was ready for the next one. I came out for the 2nd round and Dylan was a little more aggressive, but it was pretty even for the first half of the match. I knew I would have more stamina the longer the fight went, so I wasn't worried.

Then, it happened. I dislocated my kneecap while trying to dodge a punch. I went down in a lot of pain. I knew I wouldn't be able to fight anymore. My spirits were crushed. I had lost the fight on account of "technical knockout." Its one thing to simply get out-boxed, but its another thing altogether to have something like this ruin the fight. And so The Minton had a record of 1 and 1.

I must say, I still had fun. It was a fun night of friendly competition (as it usually is), and there will be other matches for me. I'll just have to make sure that I bring my knee braces.
-Cameron

p.s. If you like pop, soul, or rock n' roll, do yourself the favor of buying the new Spoon album "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga." It is quite fantastic.

The fruits of labor...

Well, I know it has been a long time since I last posted. I apologize. I would like to be able to say that I'm going to start blogging much more frequently now that the summer is in full swing, but I feel like I've said that in pretty much all of my last few blog posts, so I'll leave that little clause out for now. I may or may not start posting more frequently.

Anyways, I just got back from a camp called Ravencrest just outside of Estes Park, Colorado yesterday. It was my third time to go to Ravencrest, and it truly was an amazing experience, but I'll save that story for another post. This post is about something that has consumed much of my time, thought, and creative energy over the past year--my band, Christmas Fuller Project's first full-length album. It is called "The Philosophy of Time Travel" and it has been in the works for just about a year. Last Saturday, June 23, we finally released it for the world to hear. This is significant for a couple of reasons I feel are worth mentioning. One, as someone who criticizes music (although rarely on paper, and even more rarely with any real insight) all of the time, it is pretty exciting to actually create and put something out there for other people to react to. And I'm so proud of it, and I think there other guys in the band are, too. The second reason is that we as a band (with a new 5th member, no less) can now finally move on and start working on new material, which is exciting. Here's the cover art for the album. Aaron Hopwood and I designed it and Nick Roland digitally put it together.


After pouring so much into it, it feels really nice to just sit back and let go of it. It is finished, done, and there is no more tweaking left to do. Now we just have the privilege of hearing the thoughts of whomever will bless us with actually listening to it. And, for any curious people out there, shortly you will be able to buy the CD on CDBaby.com and iTunes. The easiest way, of course, is to just buy one at a show ($10).

But while the album itself is finished, it isn't quite done with us just yet. I got the idea to create a music video for one of its songs recently, and we shot that video just over a week ago. Its a simple performance video (and I knew it would have to be to retain a shred of dignity given our limited video resources), but we had a whole lot of fun making it. It is my official music video directorial debut. Here it is, for those of you interested:


Like I said, its nothing fancy, but we sure did have fun making it. I am considering doing another video or two for songs from the album, maybe doing one without anyone in the band in it this summer (as me, George, and Tyler are the only ones in the U.S. right now). If anyone has a cool and practical idea for a new CFP music video, or if you would be interested in helping me develop a concept for one, shoot it, lend resources, or whatever, let me know. I would love your help.

Well, I guess thats all for now. I hope you are blessed and growing. Take care.
-Cameron

Local Music Review - Famous In May / "Squares"

I had the idea a few months ago to start a frequent (and by frequent, I really mean extremely infrequent) series of posts reviewing music from local Northwest Arkansas artists. It seemed like a fun and interesting thing to do, and, if nothing else, it may give all 2 of my occasional readers a heads up about bands they may have otherwise not heard of in the NWA area. Now, I'm no legitimate music critic--I don't claim to know an incredible amount about music and I claim to know even less about writing (and exponentially less about writing about music), but, nonetheless, here we find ourselves. So, without further ado, here is my first edition of the "Local Music Review."

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Famous In May / "Squares"

I should start off by saying that I am good friends with several members of Famous In May and friends with the other ones. Also, I should probably mention that they are responsible for getting my band well over half of the shows we have played. Despite these facts, this review will not be a friend patting his friends on the back simply for the sake of doing so. I went into listening to this EP with the mentality that I wasn't going to cut them any slack--mostly because I knew they would prefer an honest review rather than some hollow compliments. However (and not necessarily to my surprise), no slack was needed.

After several months of holding out for my copy of FiM's "Squares" EP with the pretty art on the disk, I finally got my copy a few weeks ago. Clocking in at just over 30 minutes, its a pretty quick listen.

I was familiar with all of the songs on the disc before I listened to it and am happy to report that the vast majority of them retain all of their live glory and, in most cases, improve upon it. "Squares" bounces back and forth between a couple of styles, from the tense build of opener "Twist It," to the more groove-based "Lights Ahead" to the acoustic near-balladry of "Will You Be My Friend." Generally, the songs all stick to an ever-so-slightly dark, laid-back pop sound with a tinge of folk. It is reminiscent of the last "Travis" album. Crowd favorite "Defending On My Own" seems to be the only track that loses a little bit of "umph" in its transition to the studio. However, the recorded version is still a whole lot of fun.

The songwriting is solid. Famous In May does a great job of musically complementing the songs and reinforcing themes while never threatening to take over or distract--exactly what a songwriter typically wants out of his band.

The standout track, in my humble opinion, is the longest cut on the EP, "This Is Standard." Heartbreaking lyrics that seem to outline the human condition very simply and effectively anchor a song full of interesting music--most notably the foundational swirling keyboard part and the evocative bass line.

I completely recommend this CD to anyone who is looking for some hope for the Fayetteville music scene. Amidst a sea of bar-bands and screamo sound-alikes, Famous In May bring something unique. Buy it at their shows for $7. Keep up with them at www.myspace.com/Famousinmay.

Grace and Humility (or, more appropriately, 'Why Can't We All Just Get Along?')

Disclaimer: Most of the time, I do not live out these things. This post is a prayer for myself, as well as for the rest of the Church.

I hope I live to see the day when the majority of the body of Christ treat others as we have undoubtedly been treated. It breaks my heart every time I see Christians arguing and fighting with both each other and unbelieving people over things that should be discussed. They are usually important issues, certainly, but it seems that most people tend to assert authority they simply don't have when these things come up. We serve a God that is infinitely big, complex, and mysterious. He has given us many absolute, definitive statements about who he is and how we are to live in response to him. He has also given us many cryptic, debatable statements about himself. I believe there are "correct" interpretations of these things, but I think it is very easy for us to err in figuring them out. And we, most likely, won't find out for sure until heaven. It is hard to find two individuals who share exactly the same views on all theological issues--let alone the same interpretation on what the appropriate response is relationally, socially, politically, etc. to said views. And that is OK! We can all afford to get a few details wrong in this life.

We certainly have to keep striving to find the "correct" theology and responses to said theology--and this is a life-long process of prayer and petition to God. But, I doubt anyone will have all of this until well into eternity. So, lets live this way! Lets live as if we don't have all of the answers. We don't. Lets keep the conversation open about what a Christian should look like in America roughly two thousand and seven years after Christ's death, because when it is all said and done, we could very well be lovingly told we were wrong in many, many ways when we are face to face with our creator. And as long as we loved him and kept striving for him, he's not going to hold that against us. We can all afford to get a few details wrong in this life.

I think that when we get to heaven, a lot of liberals are going be surprised to find that all conservatives weren't a bunch of money-hoarding, close-minded, ignorant, hypocritical bible-thumpers. And a lot of conservatives may be surprised to find out that all liberals weren't a bunch of world-pleasing, afraid-to-take-a-stand, trend-conscious, truth-ignoring tree huggers. We may very well be surprised that the other group was right about more things that we thought. We may very well be surprised that we both missed the mark horribly (that's what I'm betting on). What we will find is that, as hard as it may be to believe for some, those "other" people sincerely loved Christ, and were trying their hardest to build their lives around his call. And we will worship him forever along side them.

Please, for the love of God the Father, can we please show each other grace and humility?

-Cameron

The Philosophy of Time Travel

Hey guys, I posted this last night on CFP's MySpace blog, but thought it also applied to my personal blog since it describes what I've been doing for the past 8 months. Anyways, here it is: a description of my band's first full length album:

After building insurmountable amounts of intrigue, here, on this most auspicious of occasions, we reveal the shape of things to come--the sketchings of an opus. We've whet your imaginations and challenged your notions of time and space. Well, time, not space. It is now, however, on this very hour, nay, this very minute, that we reveal, in full, what we have been crafting ever so delicately over the past 8 months.

I would like to apologize for that above paragraph. It was ridiculous.

In all seriousness, we are ready to reveal exactly what has come from our many hours spent writing, practicing, and recording music. And that, my friends, is a new full-length album.

It's called "The Philosophy of Time Travel" and although we have not yet designed the album art and are still yet to record 2 remaining songs, we are already very proud of it. It has been a difficult time- and thought-consuming process, but it has been worth it.

So how did this come about? Well, the project initially started as an EP to follow up our Milkhouse EP. It was originally conceived to be another 4 or 5 songs that we could quickly record and release to try to make a little bit of money at shows. But, as we finished the first few tracks (Ghosts Are for Graveyards and The Part That Lives, in particular), we realized that, with more recording experience, we were getting much higher quality sounds that we had in the past using the same equipment. Band members started bringing new songs to the table that were, in our humble opinions, quite good and we had an interest in recording more than just the original 5 or so. As we started analyzing the songs, we realized several themes running throughout nearly all of them.

We discovered that these themes could be tied together using the idea of "Time Travel" as a reference point. Thus, "The Philosophy of Time Travel" was born. Several tracks were written after the overall album theme was decided, which serve to make the time travel idea considerably more obvious. Among these are the three parts of a "musical trilogy" (to quote Spinal Tap) about the 19th century swimmer Captain Matthew Webb and a time traveler. The track list is as follows:

1. Captain Webb vs. The English Channel
2. Try
3. Ghosts Are for Graveyards
4. The Part That Lives
5. Learn How to Die (Country Step)
6. A Long Drive
7. Prelude
8. 1875
9. Meet Me in Montauk
10. I Choose to Love You Anyway
11. Optimistic
12. Pop Philosophy

What we've ended up with is an album about the strange place we (the members of CFP and many others) find ourselves in: we are looking to something from a relatively long time ago to dictate what we do today, yet must constantly acknowledge and live with the reality that we are incapable of living up to this standard until some point in the future (read: our deaths). Time Travel is a metaphor for hope, regret, longing, reminiscing, learning from mistakes, and any other experience that finite beings inevitably face as they try to figure out their place in eternity.

It's just a CD--one that will hopefully be in your hands by April. But it's got our (figurative) blood, sweat, and tears all over it. We hope you enjoy it. We can't wait for you to hear it.

-Cameron

Favorites of 2006, or, Me Trying Desperately to Legitimize Myself

Something I always look forward to at the end of a given year is sitting down and discussing with my friends what we all think are the best movies, albums, etc. of said year. And, with my introduction to this wonderful little tool we call the "blog," I have had, for the last 2 years, the ability to actually publish a list of these things for the world to see.

However, a question came up in my mind recently--why do I do this? Why do I feel the need to order these things into a definitive list--why can't I just allow each of them to affect me and leave it at that? And, moreover, how much arrogance do I have to have in order to think that my opinions are worth posting on the internet let alone reading? It seems to me that there is a level of self-importance (how much, I'm not sure) that must exist in a person before he/she deems it neccessary to write a blog. Even worse with this type of blog--one that attempts to tell other people which pieces of art are better. Is this whole thing just an attempt to make myself look smart or cultured or artistic, etc.? Is this whole thing just an attempt to give myself the appearance of being more literate than the next guy? I think so.

Now, realizing this, why am I still going to post these lists? Would this not make me the worst kind of pretentious blogger--the one who realizes his faults yet continues to dwell in them? Yeah, I guess it would. BUT, after thinking about this I realized another thing: I like to read other people's top 10 lists, mostly because they can inform me of films and albums that I may have otherwise never heard of. And the only times that I don't like to read them are when those people try to say that their list is definitive--as if their list represents anything more than just their own opinion. I think there is a key difference in saying 1) These are the 10 BEST films of the year, and 2) These are MY 10 FAVORITE films of the year. I never want to be the type of person who would try to state something like 1).

So, here they are, my favorite pieces of entertainment from the year 2006. Not the best, just my favorite. If you know me and are moved by similar things and have not seen/heard/played any of these--then this list is my recommendation if you are interested. I hope you had a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and are filled with a joy that never leaves you.

Movies

1. Children of Men (Alfonso Cuaron)
2. Little Miss Sunshine (Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris)
3. The Fountain (Darren Aronofsky)
4. The Prestige (Christopher Nolan)
5. Stranger Than Fiction (Marc Forster)
6. Superman Returns (Brian Singer)
7. V for Vendetta (James McTeigue)

Music

1. Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
2. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
3. Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
4. Camera Obscura - Lets Get Out of this Country
5. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
6. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
7. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
8. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
9. Islands - Return to the Sea
10. Cat Power - The Greatest

Games

1. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Nintendo)
2. Shadow of the Colossus (Sony) (2005, but oh well--I discovered it in '06)
3. NCAA Football 2007 (EA)
4. Wii Sports (Nintendo)
5. Call of Duty 3 (Activision)

TV

1. Arrested Development Season 3
2. The Office Season 3
3. Austin City Limits
...I don't think I watched anything else on TV, but those were all very good


Cameron

*EDIT* 1/5/07 - I just saw Children of Men (which originally opened in December 2006 but just saw a wide release) and it blew me away. I haven't had much time to process it, but my gut reaction is that it was the best movie I saw in '06. Fantastic.