Accidents Happen

I got in a car wreck today. I was at a stop light and I was messing with my phone when I glanced up and saw that the light was green. I let off the brake, not knowing how close the car in front of me was, and I hit it before it even had to move. I got out and walked over to her car to make sure she was ok. I asked her if her neck was alright and helped her out of her car. We walked back to look at the damage and the front of my truck was pretty deep into the back of her little car.

I told her we should probably get out of the middle of the road and into a parking lot, she was hesitant at first (she probably thought I was going to try to run on her), but she agreed shortly. I backed my car out of hers and followed her to the AQ Chicken House parking lot. I called my dad and told him what happened and he told me what to do. So I called the cops and we made small talk while we waited for them to show up.

I kept telling her how sorry I was and how it was all my fault and how I was just being irresponsible, and she seemed to not be too upset. When the police officer got there, he had us fill out these sheets, and to make a long story short, I feel terrible right now.

I feel terrible for smashing the back of her car, for ruining her day, and for wasting her time. It was 100% my fault. She told me that she worked out of her car which made it twice as bad. My car only has a few scratches on it (thankfully, although it still makes me feel that much worse).

My parents don't seem that upset, although we'll see what happens whenever we find out how much we have to pay and how much my insurance goes up.

The last thing I want is a talk on responsibility and safe driving. I know the errors I made today. I was there. I feel terrible. Lesson learned. Everybody has to have their first wreck sometime, right? Maybe.

I just pray that I was able to communicate the love of Christ to that woman today. I mean, as bad as that siutation was, I probably never would have gotten to interact with her were it not for this. I was praying at the time that I would handle myself in a way that is glorifying to God and I continue to pray that now. If nothing else, I hope that woman can understand that I love her and, after that, that her Creator loves her and that my love comes from that love.

I'm a freaking idiot.

Son of a...

This is rediculous! You know, I think I know myself pretty well. I pride myself on that. That is why it is especially heart-breaking for me when I come to discover something about myself that is unexpectedly dissapointing. It turns out, much to my disbelief, that I am only 15% crunk! That is rediculous. I've always considered myself a MINIMUM 60%-75% crunk kinda guy. But, I took an online test to gauge my crunk-ness and it turns out otherwise. See for yourself:






...you think you know yourself...

Love

I'm just not a very loving person.

And how could I be? I'm a fake, filthy, rotten, ugly, self-gratifying, rebellious, self-righteous, judgemental little boy.

Luckily, God doesn't care about any of that. He has even come to dwell in my heart in the person of the Holy Spirit. And he is none of those things.

I pray that I will allow the Spirit to work in and through me--that I will not get in its way.

I want to love the way that Jesus did, the way that only God has. I want to shower everyone of I come into contact with love--pure, unconditional, selfless, agape love. I want to die to myself every day and put on the person of Christ.

I want to love the LORD God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind. Then, I want to love my neighbor as myself.



Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" is a good book.